Where Has All the Hot Air Gone?

by on 19/02/14 at 4:56 am

Scientists are saying now that the most likely source of global warming is the hot, burning gas that comes from Al Gore's ass!

Scientists are saying now that the most likely source of global warming is the hot, burning gas that comes from Al Gore’s ass!

San Francisco CA – (satireworld.com)

Professor Dr. ME Schmuck of the Al Gore Institute (AGI) has been designated as AGI’s spokesman to explain why the concept of manmade Global Warming/Climate Change is still relevant. AGI located in Nashville TN was founded by former Democratic Vice President Gore in 2002, following his loss in the hotly contested presidential race of 2000.

AGI researchers blame Greenhouse gas emissions, particularly Carbon Dioxide (CO2), for Global Warming/Climate Change. As portions of the Western and Eastern USA have been deluged recently with blizzards, ice storms and record cold temperatures many more Americans have become skeptical about climate change.

Dr. Schmuck, still recovering from a cranial rectalectomy, gave his first lecture in San Francisco’s Golden Gate Park, to a packed audience. He admitted that all the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) automobile and power plant pollution reduction programs had only made a small change in US Greenhouse gas emissions and had a negligible effect on the rest of the world. He then said that AGI had solved the problem of Global Warming/Climate Change.

The audience of climate change true believers gasped!

Dr. Schmuck explained that CO2, by trapping heat, we think, raises the Earth’s temperature. One of our whacko environmental scientists Dr. Pelosi had been making dry ice bombs for use during peaceful Keystone XL Pipeline protests, when she had a “Eureka” moment. What if AGI turned all that excess CO2 into dry ice and cooled the planet? At AGI we attempted to do just that in the USA!

All those portions of the Western and Eastern USA that have been deluged with blizzards, ice storms and record cold temperatures were a consequence of millions, and millions of tons of dry ice bombs dropped by cloaked Klingon Helium balloons (old Japanese WWII trick).

Dr. John Kerry was in charge of “inflating” the climate change trial balloons. In fact, AGI scientists indirectly caused the California drought as we needed lots of water, giving Dr. Barack Obama’s competing drought theory the cold shoulder.

The rushing hot air resulting from all that cooling and precipitation was last seen headed for the Nation’s Capital, which should experience a warming trend. Just what they need in Washington DC, more hot air!

A comment from the audience, posed by a man claiming to be a distant relative of Sir Isaac Newton said “Schmuck you and Al don’t have a clue do you? All you did was transfer thermal energy from a warm area to a cooler area. Furthermore, in making the dry ice you generated additional heat at a different location!”

Dr. Schmuck sheepishly admitted that the folks at AGI all wondered why Dr. Pelosi’s plastic parts melted as the dry ice blocks were being made. We figured she just hadn’t read the instructions, as she was apt not to do!

2 Responses to “Where Has All the Hot Air Gone?”

  1. captain america

    Feb 19th, 2014

    …the only thing more stupid, but unfortunately more dangerous is the EPA which mandated the banning of over 80% of wood stoves currently produced…this will no doubt lead to global cooling deaths by the thousands as rural NE and far NW depend on wood heat to defer costs an allow families to buy food…

    to them, burning trees to sustain life is like boiling lobsters to eat…

    ….and speaking of dead wood…let’s get some leaders that know how to
    plow snow and not just sit around Harvard faculty lounges and SNORT it!

  2. Philbert of Macadamia

    Feb 19th, 2014

    The rural folk will take care of the new EPA revenuers!

    King Obama I is determined to turn the USA into a socialist paradise using the EPA, HHS, IRS, FDA, NTSB, NSA etc, to control every US industry, every Americans political thoughts and personal life. He and his band of ideological left wing bureaucrats are usurping the US Constitution.

    We all know how socialism has failed in Europe, North Korea, the USSR, China and other places world.

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