Obama Bails out after drawing yellow line in snow: but agrees to meet Putin in Anchorage for a Beer!
by captain america on 04/03/14 at 10:07 am
The Alaska Border – (satireworld.com)
President Obama, sensing increasing disaster and loss of ‘cred’ as Vladimir Putin continues to dis-respect him (as they say in the ‘hood’) announced at a press conference that he had drawn ‘a yellow line in the snow’ around Alaska, and warned Putin not to cross it or face ‘serious consequences’,(ed note: but maybe not!)
“This is just another case of Obama pissing in the wind,’ said a spokesman for SW’s editorial staff. ‘As usual Obama whips it out and waves it around thinking everyone will be awed by the size of his tool, but he just winds up pissing all over himself! He really is nothing more than a limp dick in an empty suit!”
Said Ian Shuttlecock in Boston for the St. Patrick’s day drinking contest, “Obama, he’s a real pissah’ eh?”
While waffling on Putin, Obama did come out strongly against Israel, one of the last bastions of stability in the terrorist territories, and demanded it retreat to the 1949 accords giving up vast amounts of land and settlements they won after being attacked on two occasions.
Demanding Israel retreat to a position they won 65 years ago would be like Mexico demanding US borders return to 1836 and the year of the Alamo…ooops, seems we’ve been there and done that with the resettlement of California and its one party ‘domination of destruction.’
Thanks to SW’s exclusive contract with Eric Snowden, we can now also reveal the contents of last night’s 3 a.m. call from Barry to Vlad where he begs him to “back off so I can be more flexible!”
Obama: Vlad….WTF! I’ve given you Syria, Iran, Venezuela and you’ll soon be reunited with Hamid in Kabul and that Helmud opium cash flow..what more can I do for you?
Vlad: Har! You’re a capitalist tool, and probably gay on top of that. This is payback for sending those LBGT people over here to represent your country at the Olympics…that was an attempt to shame me!
Obama: I was under a lot of pressure, that group represents 1% of the US, but they control the press, the Senate, the EPA, the IRS,the Unions, and the medical and recreational marijuana industry..the party needs them in 2014! Cut me a break!
Vlad: Too bad for you Barry! You just don’t know how to control a Pussy Riot..learn from me, once they get a hand in your shorts, the next thing you know you’ll have a tea bagger under your ball sack..idiot!
Barry: That’s pretty harsh Vlad…I thought we had an understanding!
Vlad: Understand this you product of affirmative action…I’ve got your Secretary of State who right now is shitting his pants while being interrogated by the KGB in a very cold, deep underground cell. He’s told me all about Fast and Furious, Lois Lerner, Benghazi, you and that Dane, and the behind the scenes 3-some with Beyonce, J-Z and you while Michelle was doing Bo’s dog whisperer…you’ll be toast if Sean Hannity get’s hold of this stuff!
Barry: Um, ah, ah…hmmm, L-L-Listen Vladdy, if you like my Secretary of State, you can keep my Secretary of State…no strings attached. Period!
Vlad: Meet me in Anchorage for a beer and a shot of vodka and we’ll discuss it, but you’d better wear your Depends you’ve pissed on me for the last time!
Barry: You’ve got SOME BALLS Vlad!
Vlad: BALLS, BALLS, you can’t handle balls…if you had a pair you’d be Sarah Palin…now there’s a gal with a pair!)
Barry:(primal scream,) Valerie, Valerie, did you just hear what he said about me? (uncontrollable sobbing, moaning and phone goes dead)
The transformation of America continues.