MSNBC Announces Date for Sixth Annual “Take Your Barack Obama Blow Up Sex Doll to Work Day”

by on 18/04/14 at 5:35 am

No matter how much air you inflate it with, it will still be a softy and lie through it's teeth!

No matter how much air you inflate it with, it will still be a softy and lie through it’s teeth!

New York City, NY – (satireworld.com)

The MSNBC broadcast network has announced that Friday, May 2nd, will be their sixth annual “Take Your Barack Obama Blow Up Sex Doll to Work Day.” Network employee Chris “Tingles” Matthews said “While many companies hold a “Take Your Daughter to Work Day” or “Take Your Child to Work Day,” the MSNBC Network understands the fascination, adoration, and lustful feelings that their employees have for President Obama and wish to cultivate and further develop those emotions. We feel that this day will contribute to better employee relations and and a greater spirit of cooperation and acceptance among the staff and management here.”

“Tingles” Matthews admitted that he often keeps a spare Barack Obama blow up sex doll in the filing cabinet in his office and that “I probably wear out at least four of five a year. My wife gets tired of the cost, but it is tax deducible as I openly worship and bend over for him on the air as a part of my job.”

“When I am in my office and relaxing with my doll, it helps me focus so much better on HARDBALL!”

Former MSNBC Employee and Democratic Party Apologist Keith Olbermann announced that he was sorry that he was no longer with the network and would really miss this event. “It was always my favorite day at work. Anyone who doesn’t like having sexual relations with a Barack Obama blow up doll is just a racist! I’ve tried to start this at ESPN and the people here are just not quite ready for that type of open mindedness yet.”

Staffer Ed Shultz (who is so stupid that he couldn’t find his butthole with a map if his head wasn’t already inside) was too overcome with joy to comment. A camera and microphone placed inside of his anus (close to his mouth) could only understand the words “yippee” and “wonderful.”

Rachel Maddow, the gay female MSNBC anchorwoman, said that “I only go straight for the Barack Obama Sex Doll Day… or the days that I am lonely in my home and use my Obama toy for entertainment. It’s even better than a vibrator!”

The sex toy company Peggy’s Playthings has announced a new, special edition Barack Hussein Obama Blow Up Sex Doll to be released April 30th, just in time for the MSNBC event. Michelle Obama, who is pictured on the box, will be the commercial spokesperson for the product and has announced that “Americans will love getting screwed by this device just as much as this country enjoys getting screwed by my husband. This is what I use when he is on a golf trip… or a summit meeting,… or a golf outing,… Sometimes, I even turn myself around to remind myself what a real pain in the ass my husband can be! All it takes to get your doll ready to operate is a little bit of hot air… just like Barack!”

Past commercial endorsers of the previous editions of the doll include Barney Frank and Debbie Wasserman Schultz.

The new edition of the doll is expected to have brisk sales in San Francisco, New York City, Chicago, Detroit (where it can be purchased with food stamps), and the Middle East (where sales might even rival that of blow up sheep).



2 Responses to “MSNBC Announces Date for Sixth Annual “Take Your Barack Obama Blow Up Sex Doll to Work Day””

  1. E. Williams

    May 3rd, 2014

    Really good article, Jalapenoman! Good stuff!

  2. Jalapenoman

    May 6th, 2014

    Thanks.

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