by captain america on 22/04/14 at 2:16 pm
Chicken Kiev – (satireworld.com)
The Obama regime’s traveling comic review arrived in Kiev over the weekend in the form of VP Joe Biden and his stand up comedy act in an effort to cheer up morose Ukrainians.
Biden, appearing in his now landmark Ray ban sunglasses, he recently signed an endorsement contract for $2500, joked that “I’m here on behalf of President Obama to prove that he hasn’t forgotten you and that he’s here in spirit to support you!
At that point, the Ukrainian MC interrupted and said in sotto voice, “Take your President….PLEASE!”
That last comment brought down the house and brought a flurry of shoes flying at Biden’s hair plugs until order was restored when US Secret Service agents fired off a salvo of AK47 rounds into the ceiling of the rotunda in an alcohol induced panic attack.
Apparently unfazed Biden continued with his presentation saying that Obama was prepared to release over $50m in ‘Freedom Funds’ plus $8m in non lethal arms aid including bomb sniffing dogs, communications equipment ‘slightly modified and improved’ by NASA, and repatriated Humvees from Afghanistan that hadn’t yet been improved to withstand IEDs and stray .22 caliber rifle shots.
Also included was $11m to improve voter education, and administrative oversight in the upcoming elections favoring Russian 5th column sleeper agents by requiring photo ids confirming membership in the communist party and the russian militia.
Said Biden, “after all if you have to provide ID to buy Vodka, prove you’re not Jewish, and walk to the next block, you should have to provide ID in order to vote for Comrade Putin!”
Confronting Ukrainian fears over Russia cutting off oil and natural gas supplies Biden said confidently, “have no fear, we’re studying that now in Washington along with the Secretary of Energy.We’re sure we can squeeze a few billion out of our economy to set up wind farms, solar panel companies, and a start up for an energy efficient vehicle factory working with our brethren at Government Motors.”
Biden than had a presentation ceremony where he presented Ukrainian officials with a fleet of Chevy Volts, and a few refurbished Cobalts to ‘show good faith.’
As he handed over the keys,(with a GM disclaimer not to travel over pot holes) Biden showed that he was hip and in tight with Broadway stage actors by quipping, “BREAK A LEG!”
Prior to leaving Biden reportedly met with Russian representatives where he was heard saying, “Hey,don’t get your panties in a wad, this is no big F****g deal, I can be a lot more flexible after I’m elected in 2016!”
Biden was scheduled to continue his good will tour to Malaysia, Vietnam, and North Korea upon wrapping up the presentation.
The secret service announced that Air Biden now has 6 Black Boxes on board as a precaution to insure that ‘the VP doesn’t get lost somewhere in space!”
More on the flight from CNN 24/7.