Obama: Iraq Embassy Staff “on their own to find way home’ Hillary confirms she authorized only “one way ticket” citing her ‘Benghazi Protocol.”

by on 16/06/14 at 12:24 pm

Embassy staffers wait their turn for Baghdad taxi drivers to take them 350 miles to Kuwait where the Obama Administration will offer half-price vouchers for a plane flight back to the US

Embassy staffers wait their turn for Baghdad taxi drivers to take them 350 miles to Kuwait where the Obama Administration will hand out half-price vouchers for a plane flight back to the US

Palm Springs, CA – (satireworld.com)

Satire World staff finally cornered President Obama after his Palm Springs round of golf to discuss the fate of beleaguered embassy staff in war torn Iraq.

As SW reported in the last few days the $750M dollar embassy employing 5500 (!) people has been target by mortars, scud missiles from Palestine, small arms fire, and in the latest development, severed heads of loyalists catapulted into the compound from medieval siege weapons.

Pleas for added security and evacuation from the staff has so far met with a White House response described by terrified employees as ‘tepid” after Obama said ‘I’ll have to think it over after the weekend”

Obama did request a budget hearing on fuel consumption for the Air Force, ‘saying, these unreasonable transportation demands are only leading to more pollution of our skies, our air, our water, the unreasonable demand on VA health services, not to mention curtailing my own unlimited gas allowance!”

Al Gore backed the President’s statement saying “When the going gets tough, the tough should either walk home or ride a bike!” John Kerry chimed in saying,”hey, the dumb bastards all volunteered and knew the risks…said a while back if they didn’t go to an Ivy League school they’d all wind up in Iraq some day in a body bag!”

Chuck Hagel’s orders for the aircraft carrier “George Bush” to the region was countermanded by Chief of Staff Valerie Jarrett after Michelle refused to give any credit to the former President in the days leading up to the mid term elections after seeing the headline in the New York Post: “George Bush set to rescue surrounded embassy staff while Obama putz (sic) around!”

So far the only reaction to the crisis is a pledge from “Rolling Thunder” to mobilize over 200,000 armed Viet Nam vet bikers for a “Brotherhood Crusade” to turn back the insurgents, recapture all the arms we supplied that were abandoned, erect a giant cross in Fallujah, install Ted Cruz as the US Ambassador AND Secretary of State, and erecting a bill board in Mosul saying: 4800 Dead Heroes means IT REALLY DOES MATTER NOW!

Hillary Clinton was unavailable for comment as she was “up to her arse” in book signings.



5 Responses to “Obama: Iraq Embassy Staff “on their own to find way home’ Hillary confirms she authorized only “one way ticket” citing her ‘Benghazi Protocol.””

  1. Philbert of Macadamia

    Jun 16th, 2014

    President Obama is too busy playing with his balls to be interested in stopping the bloodshed in Iraq caused by ISIS!

  2. captain america

    Jun 16th, 2014

    .Obama…..”climate change is our most deadly enemy….John Kerry told me so!”

    John Kerry: ‘Climate change is our most deadly foe…Barry told me!”

    Debbie Wasserman Schultz: :what ever they said!”

    Nancy Pelosi: “We have to step on the IED in order to see how big
    the BANG is!”

    Obama: “Folks, lets not lose our heads over a slight disagreement!”

  3. Philbert of Macadamia

    Jun 17th, 2014

    President Obama had a “brain storming” session with his national security advisers about what to do about the situation in Iraq. Once they find the president’s brain, he will make a decision.

    • Bargis

      Jun 17th, 2014

      I would imagine most of his ‘brain storms’ are pretty cloudy with alot of ‘HAIL-TO-THE-CHIEF’ thrown in

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