by Philbert of Macadamia on 17/06/14 at 7:46 pm
Detroit MI – (satireworld.com)
General Motors (GM) Chief Executive Officer (CEO) Mary T. Barra announced that a tentative agreement has been reached with the Obama Administration’s National Highway Transportation Safety Administration (NHTSA) to buy back all 18 million recalled GM automobiles for $550 billion. The money will be refunded to the automobile buyers.
This government bailout strategy became necessary because 99.9% of the defects in GM automobiles could not be fixed by local GM dealers and have to be returned to the GM automobile manufacturing factories for repair. These facilities produced 16 million cars (2013) and would have to cease new car production to accommodate all the repair work.
Ceasing new GM automobile production would mean no new revenue for the corporation, depleting their savings, laying off 219,000 workers and declaring bankruptcy. The price per share of GM stock is anticipated to drop to 29 cents per share, affecting many pension funds. GM automobile dealers would not suffer too badly as they now also handle German, Japanese, Korean and other foreign made cars.
Employing taxpayer provided refunds GM could not only produce the estimated 16 million cars in 2014, but build new factories to produce an additional 18 million cars to replace the recalled vehicles. The government owned recalled newer model vehicles will be provided to General Service Agency (GSA) motor pools in the 50 states for use by civilian federal government employees. (Local automobile mechanics in each state could come up with their own ingenious ways to repair the defects.) The older model recalled vehicles will be sold to Cuba. It’s a win-win situation for everybody!
Even the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) Secretary Gina McCarthy likes the taxpayer funded approach, as while the 18 million people are waiting for their replacement GM vehicles they might car pool or use public transportation, thus reducing air pollution.
Two concerns have been raised over this latest government GM bailout strategy, namely: people with cash in their pockets may decide to purchase Ford automobiles, German, Japanese, Korean or other foreign made cars instead of waiting on GM; and that Paul Ryan (R-WI), Chairman of the Budget Committee of the US House of Representatives will not add $550 billion in new taxes to any federal budget.
Authors Note: The Obama administration’s Cash for Clunkers Program (2009) was supposed to be a big boost that stimulated the US economy/jobs, improved gas mileage, and saved the environment (air pollution reduction) turned out to be nothing more than an expensive lemon.
Editor’s Note: Also, the original ‘Cash-For-Clunkers’ was found politically succesful back in 2009 when it removed almost 3 million OBAMA 2008 bumper stickers from the road.