Kerry under fire in Iraq: petitions for yet another Purple Heart after getting hit in head by shoe during insulting parliament address naming new Transgender Ambassador!
by captain america on 24/06/14 at 5:32 pm
Baghdad, Iraq – (satireworld.com)
Secretary of State John Kerry was met with shock and disgust today after announcing “since your country could go either way in the next 48 hours, I’m making good on my promise to my LBGT supporters and assigning a transgender person to become the next ambassador to Iraq!”
The appointment breaks the administration’s position of only granting the appointments to rich, jewish, bundlers,
hollywood producers sympathetic to the regime and alcoholic socialites to ‘plum’ appointments to France, Britain, Spain, Japan where they are free to party & entertain at taxpayers expense during an extended vacation.
Cynical journalists said Kerry was making the move to appease the 1% of the LGBT community, but the real reason was he couldn’t find anyone else willing to get they’re arse shot off in ‘dead end countries where you couldn’t even buy a drink, much less get laid by either sex!”
As Kerry was drowned out by a chorus of BOOO’s, he screamed in frustration “can’t you F*****g people just get along?’, urging them to put aside 10,000 years of tribal blood feuds, honour killings, gang rapes, crimes against nature, bad breath and not having one mullah on GQ’s best dressed list.
“For God’s sake (sic), you people dress from Martha Stewarts K-Mart Table Wear Section, eat with you fingers after you wipe yer arse and expect us to GIVE A SHIT?”
Kerry continued his rant thinking his mike had been shut off muttering, “Holy Shiite, Sunni’s, moonies,, loonies, ISIS, Bathists, Brotherhoods, Sisterhoods, Mullahs, Imams, Coptics,Talibans, Al Quaeda, Hezbollah….don’t you people know there’s not enough Virgins to go around unless you’re willing to settle for the likes of Debbie Wasserman Schultz and her ilk?”
The lone Sunni representative held up a severed head and a sign written in blood at the back of the room which seemed to really get Kerry’s goat (NPI) stating: Face like a horse, hung like a mouse: Obama’s Horse’s Arse!
Before being protectively carried off the stage by a horde of special forces and Delta operatives Kerry pleaded with his audience….’isn’t there at least one southern Baptist , Papist or Harvard grad in this room?”
Kerry lifted off the roof of the parliament building in Marine “Ketch-Up 1” just ahead of the ISIS hordes storming the building with door gunners kicking people off the skids shouting, “no we don’t have your backs…that was the other guy!”
Shortly later in the afternoon an ISIS spokesman announced that the new government had signed a blockbuster energy agreement with Russia, China and North Korea with pipeline infrastructure partially funded with the billions in cash looted from banks, and the sale of US military hardware to Somalia which made them the world’s 5th largest armed and hostile regime with embassies in Detroit, Minneapolis, and Portland, Oregon thanks to Obama’s accreditation by Executive Order.
Muslim Sisterhood advisor to Hillary Clinton “HumV Weiner, said ‘prayer rugs on the “Clinton in ’16 “website
‘were flying off the shelves ‘ selling 10 times better than Hillary’s Bomb shell expose:Hard Choices”, the story of a woman married to a man whose penis had ‘no conscience” leaving her to seek out an alternative life style.”
Back at the White House aides were scrambling to cover for the administration with one saying, “the president never even knew that loose cannon was over there until he saw it during a news break on the Golf Channel!”
The President is said to be furious claiming “why am I always the last to know what’s going on and what
these people are doing or saying….I’ll get to the bottom of this or my Kenyan name isn’t Obama bin Lion!”