by Steely Beast on 26/06/14 at 6:38 am
Pyongyang, North Korea – (satireworld)
The war of words has heated up in recent days between the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea, aka North Korea, and a respected American online publication known for its cutting edge humor. Satireworld.com says threats of being in a state of ‘war’ have surfaced after a series of photos were published online showing the reclusive North Korea leader Kim Jong-un in an very unfavorable light.
In a country where ever segment of life is carefully controlled by the state media, poking fun at tyrant Kim Jong-un is considered treason and the punishment is a life of misery at a state sponsored work camp for both the offender and their entire family.
Details of a famous incident in 1999 are often recalled, where a farmer named Yung An-un was sentenced to 450 years at hard labor for referring to then leader Kim Jung-un as a ‘dried booger.’ An-un, now 104 years old, says he can do the time standing on his head and hinted through an elaborate display of fingers and hand signs that current leader Kim Jong-un is a ‘dried turd stuck in the ass of a gay cow.’
Upon learning of the disparaging remarks by the prisoner referred to as Number 129763476589, prison officials simply smiled and said An-un’s water ration of three drops a day will be severely curtailed.
Satireworld’s editor, Bargis Tryhol says, “the most offensive photos of leader Kim Jong-un participating in a Juarez, Mexico donkey sex show were a ‘little too gross’ for our publication and were removed due to Google rules.”
A photo showing Kim Jong-un riding a Pug were picked up by news sources and sent around the globe on Monday. The resulting hysteria in North Korea was so great the armed forces reportedly fired off 72 medium range missles that splashed harmlessly into the Sea of Japan. Dispatched three steam driven paddle-wheel destroyers, and ordered the million-man Army to stamp their feet for twenty-five minutes in an effort to trick buried UN sensors that a large atomic device was set off deep underground in protest.
Meanwhile in South Korea, the KIA motor car company says it will be upgrading all automobiles to ‘free’ power seats and heated seats next spring. The south Korean manufacturer sells milliions of vehicles each year and employs over two hundred thousand workers who back up claims that Kim Jung-un looks like a dried turd stuck in the ass of a gay cow..