by captain america on 26/06/14 at 7:21 pm
The White House – (satireworld.com)
In yet another instance of the failure of Michelle’s mandate against Obesity, and abuse of power by the Messiah in Chief, SW is now able to report that Barry’s cravings for ‘soul food’ is so great, he has been ordering Chicago Style Pizza from Cicero, Il. delivered by government drones direct to the White House in the middle of the night!
While the FAA continues to report that they have no reports of sightings flying in from the mid west, local stringer Philbert of Maryland (pom) was able to confirm the strange sightings flying over his community on a direct path to the White House. “They’ve been whizzing over pretty regular every night while I’m out checking to see if my house is under surveillance by the rain water police checking to see if I’m declaring all the water coming off my roof and down my gutters. At 500′ off the ground you can smell ’em…makes my mouth water!’
“It’s irrefutable,” said POM, “when you wake up in the morning and go out to get the morning paper and your driveway is sprinkled with pepperoni, green peppers and gooey cheese you know the bastard is playing with those drones again!”
With the startling revelations now ‘out of the box’, other republicans are now coming out to report strange events at their own headquarters. “I got tagged the other day with feta cheese, spinach ,spam and pineapple…who else do you know who orders a Hawaiian Pizza for home delivery at 3 a.m. ” said a gobsmacked Speaker of the House John ‘tan man” Boner, (sic).
“I’m beginning to think the president is having flashbacks to his time in Indonesia, ” said Texas daredevil “Evil” Williams, “my front door step was a mess this morning, turned out there was a remnant of a ‘pomeranian” pizza right down to the left over micro-chip after the coyotes here in Texas cleaned up most of the mess…guess Lassie won’t be coming home anytime soon!”
Luckily for other critics of the regime, according to insiders, not only does the President dislike peas, but he doesn’t have much of an urge to eat Pussy either.
More after Bo turns up missing and Marian Robinson claims the Portuguese Water dog drowned in the hot tub or committed suicide in the kitchen while jumping in the meat grinder while she was making German Shepherd’s pie.”