Satire World Editor lauded for raising minimum wage for struggling writers to $12 a word, $25 for words used in imaginary quotes!

by on 27/06/14 at 1:05 pm

Bargis said he had 'no comment' on reports he's paying top dollar for wordsmiths at  WWW.SATIREWORLD.COM

Bargis said he had ‘no comment’ on reports he’s paying top dollar for wordsmiths at
WWW.SATIREWORLD.COM

But did say he was thankful for the really neat loincloth he received from Hapless Harold Worth for Christmas….”Better than that set of blue rhinestoned oven mitts from the Cap and that used set of Ginzu knives from Jman”

Somewhere in Florida….(satireworld.com)

Bargis Tryhol became an overnight hero for free lance writers when he said “it’s time to close the gap between the pay scale for real writers who have something to say and washed up politicians who employ ghost writers and get $14M advances telling lies!”

A spokesman for Hillary Clinton said “the former Secretary of State does not resemble that remark as she is still struggling to make ends meet on a shoe string budget!”

Said Bargis, “the fact that I just raised $155M from our IPO whilst defeating a hostile takeover by Obama’s personal annuity “OFM” (organizing for myself) who were offering $400M to take us off the internet, I thought it was only fair to share my good luck!”

Said Philbert of Maryland, “this couldn’t have come at a better time to pay off my pay day loan of $250 which just hit the ceiling with over $10,000 in accrued interest, late fees and ATM charges. With the windfall I might consider writing a few more pieces to fund my SEP and even have enough money to move out of this F******state!”

Said Jman, “thank the good Lord…now instead of getting married AGAIN I can just find the ugliest liberal woman, buy her a house and skip all the agony…forget about Ecstasy…I’ve had more than my share in life!”

“Evil” Williams toiling away somewhere in Texas for peanuts, seemed nonplussed saying, “I tried to get excited and involved with making money, but really, I couldn’t be arsed… what difference does it make now if you’re rich or your poor as long as all these women keep wanting to take care of me, eh?”

Former banned UK stringer Harold Worth was said to be distraught when he found his aborted tenure only allowed a $75 ‘golden shower’ payoff but finally came to grips with the situation, ‘ Well mates, after all it’s better than a swollen thumb in the eye, innit?”

Bargis his ownself said, “well…I’m considering digging the moat around HQ another 25 feet, putting in a water slide and buying a bunch of those former military attack vehicles the government is giving away…in these times you just can’t have enough personal defense
measures!”

Captain America said he was putting his raise to good use….”If I write a few hundred words and quote Hillary, Huma, Anthony and Valerie Jarrett a few times at $25 a word I’ll have enough money to have the folks in Roxbury vote for a Republican governor this fall…hoist the bastard on their own petard, eh, Thad?”

This just in: after receiving the invoice of $5,110 for this 15 minute piece Bargis e-mailed back:

THE CHECK’S IN THE MAIL!



4 Responses to “Satire World Editor lauded for raising minimum wage for struggling writers to $12 a word, $25 for words used in imaginary quotes!”

  1. Bargis

    Jun 27th, 2014

    Now you did it!

    Wirehead, Colonel Juan, Bookseller, Lucifer, and some weirdo using the initials M.L. all have asked to begin writing on here. It would probably be the biggest influx of hard cash going into the UK!

    Be nice to Evil….He’s a new guy

  2. E. Williams

    Jun 27th, 2014

    Hallelujah! Now I can finally afford the freedom to write satire instead of the fact-based, carefully researched drivel I currently put out there! Thanks Bargis!!

  3. captain america

    Jun 27th, 2014

    …will be waiting for that tell all Barney Frank/Fanny May blockbuster:

    Bend over, I think I love you and thanks for the interest only loan!

    Barry OBAMA 2007 at the closing table for his $1m pad plus the adjacent lot courtesy of Barney and Rezo.

  4. captain america

    Jun 27th, 2014

    hey…does this mean we can afford to bring back Buckwheat’s Butt?
    kinda miss that guy!

    …and don’t forget Lady Godiva…goodness, how Harold Worth loved that woman, and especially her horse!

Leave a Reply