Satire World Editor lauded for raising minimum wage for struggling writers to $12 a word, $25 for words used in imaginary quotes!
by captain america on 27/06/14 at 1:05 pmSomewhere in Florida….(satireworld.com)
Bargis Tryhol became an overnight hero for free lance writers when he said “it’s time to close the gap between the pay scale for real writers who have something to say and washed up politicians who employ ghost writers and get $14M advances telling lies!”
A spokesman for Hillary Clinton said “the former Secretary of State does not resemble that remark as she is still struggling to make ends meet on a shoe string budget!”
Said Bargis, “the fact that I just raised $155M from our IPO whilst defeating a hostile takeover by Obama’s personal annuity “OFM” (organizing for myself) who were offering $400M to take us off the internet, I thought it was only fair to share my good luck!”
Said Philbert of Maryland, “this couldn’t have come at a better time to pay off my pay day loan of $250 which just hit the ceiling with over $10,000 in accrued interest, late fees and ATM charges. With the windfall I might consider writing a few more pieces to fund my SEP and even have enough money to move out of this F******state!”
Said Jman, “thank the good Lord…now instead of getting married AGAIN I can just find the ugliest liberal woman, buy her a house and skip all the agony…forget about Ecstasy…I’ve had more than my share in life!”
“Evil” Williams toiling away somewhere in Texas for peanuts, seemed nonplussed saying, “I tried to get excited and involved with making money, but really, I couldn’t be arsed… what difference does it make now if you’re rich or your poor as long as all these women keep wanting to take care of me, eh?”
Former banned UK stringer Harold Worth was said to be distraught when he found his aborted tenure only allowed a $75 ‘golden shower’ payoff but finally came to grips with the situation, ‘ Well mates, after all it’s better than a swollen thumb in the eye, innit?”
Bargis his ownself said, “well…I’m considering digging the moat around HQ another 25 feet, putting in a water slide and buying a bunch of those former military attack vehicles the government is giving away…in these times you just can’t have enough personal defense
Captain America said he was putting his raise to good use….”If I write a few hundred words and quote Hillary, Huma, Anthony and Valerie Jarrett a few times at $25 a word I’ll have enough money to have the folks in Roxbury vote for a Republican governor this fall…hoist the bastard on their own petard, eh, Thad?”
This just in: after receiving the invoice of $5,110 for this 15 minute piece Bargis e-mailed back:
THE CHECK’S IN THE MAIL!