Obama Regime vows to ‘stamp out Evil”; Satire Writer now on the lam to UK and holed up in Ecuadorian Embassy?
by captain america on 08/07/14 at 4:21 pm
Austin, TX – (satireworld.com)
In an effort to reenergize their base after a series of disastrous defeats in the Supreme Court (13-0, which BTW in Little League would have implemented the mercy rule) Obama in a major address to Al Jazera said he and Eric Holder would refocus their attention on stamping out Internet dissent starting with E.Williams!
Said Holder, “Williams is EVIL incarnate, an abomination, unpatriotic, the poster boy for ‘yellow journalism’ and most likely heterosexual!”
In a tweet from somewhere across the pond Mr. Williams retorted: I resemble those remarks and will hold on to my keyboard till you pry it out of my cold dead hand!”
Allegedly the Congressional White Caucus has risen to Mr. William’s defense issuing a statement which proclaimed, “technically it’s not evil when evil is being used for good!”
The statement is eerily similar to Massachusetts Attorney General Martha Coakley, currently running for Governor and making more gaffes in public than Hillary Clinton, who famously said “technically it’s not illegal to be illegal in the Commonwealth!”
Mark Lowton, owner of a UK spoof site said he has granted Williams ‘a temporary spoof writing visa, “although it’s only temporary…we’ll run his arse off the site eventually…we always do to our American cousins!”
Mr. Williams has recently bought the run down and abandoned “Oasis Bar & Grill” and promised to ‘clean it up, get rid of the squatters and other riff raff, drunks and pretenders!’
To prove his affinity for the USA he has replaced all European beer on tap with the full line up of Samuel Adams patriotic brews, yanked out all the bidets with the Manchester United logo, reinstalled urinals and replaced the sanitary napkin dispensers with free condom machines.
Said ‘EVIL” in a reference to the Obama threat: I’ve had enough of that Black & Tan S**** to last a life time..Sam Adams is the beer to be drinking as we’re watching REAL FOOTBALL this fall on our 35 big screen TVs!”
DCI Morse was said to be seen refinishing his favourite Table 5 in Colonial Oak with 3 top coats of Satin spar varnish.
The last drunk ushered out was told to ‘git your hat and don’t come back!”
Ted Cruz speaking to the media said, “sometimes EVIL is really good especially when
he’s off his meds!”