After Suffering Exhaustion From Signing Executive Orders, President Needs Vacation

by on 11/07/14 at 5:54 pm


Washington D.C. – (

Next month, after a grueling schedule of signing executive orders, President Obama and his family will take a two week vacation to the dilapidated ruins of Martha’s Vineyard, Mass., for some much needed rest.

The president’s pen and phone will be flown in by the Air Force One helicopter and separately from the family and the presidential dog.

In recent weeks, President Obama has been complaining of carpal tunnel type symptoms and doctors think it is due to his constant overuse of his executive authority, stemming from his belief that he rules the country by decree.

During the two week vacation, the president will receive daily hand and wrist massages, water therapy, and electrical stimulation to the nerves in his overworked hands.

Mr. Obama already suffers from arthritis in his middle finger on both hands from constantly flipping off Republicans and the American people.

Doctors commented to us that every other part of the president’s body seems to be well rested and in good shape. His writing hand appears to be the only part of his anatomy that is being overused at this time.

Staff have worked up mock executive orders for the president to sign as part of his rehabilitative therapy. Their hope is that he will be strong enough to continue bypassing Congress after some down time.

While the president works hard to strengthen the tendons in his pen and phone hand, the First Lady will spend her time shoving carrots, tomatoes and arugula down the throats of locals.

The first daughters will catch some fun in the sun and enjoy spending taxpayer money on souvenirs and other useless junk.

When FLOTUS was asked how she reconciled the first family going on a lavish vacation while the poor languished at the border, the First Lady responded, “Let them eat cake!”

6 Responses to “After Suffering Exhaustion From Signing Executive Orders, President Needs Vacation”

  1. captain america

    Jul 12th, 2014

    Cap is on the scene to bring SW readers up to the minute reports on the first family’s lavish vacation, tone deaf photo ops, and pool hall
    hi-jinks…last few days have been drowned out by massive AF cargo jets skimming the tree tops into Otis AF base with the arrival of a convoy of black GM armored vehicles, HMRE’s (healthy meals ready to eat),
    Bo’s favorite chew toys, Malia’s cutom golf cart she got for her 16gh birthday and her personal armored corvette she will be allowed to drive around on the beseiged island of Martha’s Vineyard….

    According to former congressman Barney Frank, “we’ve asked the MV peasants to bend over backwards to make the President’s vacation
    the best ever”..

    Homeland security has erected a 12′ fence around the rented compound to insure ‘no documented or accredited reporters’
    won’t intrude on the first family’s ‘transparency.”


    • Bargis

      Jul 12th, 2014

      all they need now is clowns, beggers, and fools! Poor Cap. Have to put up with this crap during your vacation. We’ll enjoy the updates! Is Barry inviting you and the Mrs over for dinner?

      • Philbert of Macadamia

        Jul 12th, 2014

        The 12′ fence is also to keep the peasants from Massachusetts, Rhode Island and New Hampshire away from King Obama!

  2. E. Williams

    Jul 12th, 2014

    Thanks for the selfless act of reporting for us, Cap. I know I detected a strong disturbance in the force when Darth Obama was in my neighborhood this past week. It’s starting to seem like he IS targeting SW writers with his hand-picked destinations.

  3. captain america

    Jul 13th, 2014

    …it’s a dirty job, but someone has to do it!
    4 planes of illegals landed in MA and were bused to New Bedford, MA
    a lovely place and EBT and SNAP card distribution not to mention a seaport with a drug problem…most will get a job as stevedores handiling drugs coming in on crab boats….local officials are now ‘scratching their heads” as well as armpits and crotch over the secret unannounced move by Obama’s storm troopers under his “leiberstraum” policy.

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