by captain america on 19/07/14 at 9:38 am
Washington, DC – (satireworld.cop\m)
Reacting to universal disgust over his nonchalant mention of the Malaysian plane shot down by Russian militants in the Ukraine before continuing with his partisan hate speech against conservatives in Delaware, President Obama down played the tragedy in the wake of his lack of concern by saying after “a few phone calls’ he had determined that “only” one American died, and ‘it appears he may have jumped to avoid “the accident” caused by ‘workplace violence!”
Visions captured by locals seemed to confirm a repeat of scenes from 9/11 where people dived off the twin towers rather than be burned to a crisp.
Olga Rasputin, a 24 year old Victory Garden cultivator at a farmer’s market said, “I heard a bang, looked up and bodies were falling from the sky…one came through my roof and another landed in my potato patch….who’s going to pay for this, eh?”
While not confronting Putin directly, Obama, attired in a Nike track suit, held up a shirtless picture of the Russian dictator wrestling a bear, and proclaimed, “I’ve reached out to Health and Human Services to determine whether Vlad’s recent actions could be a result of ‘Roid Rage” which may explain his behaviour!”
“I’m waiting till all the evidence is in before drawing a Red Line on the crash site…after all, everyone deserves at least 12 chances to turn their lives around and join the 21st century and give up their image as Vlad he Impaler” he said dreamily.
Obama appeared more than relaxed with drooping eye lids, slack lips and a spaced out demeanor as he struggled with his delivery and bizarrely declared smoking marijuana was no more harmful than drinking beer and playing pool while the world disintegrated.
When last seen Michelle was somewhere in Washington lecturing her talking shopping cart and stocking up on fois gras to take with her on vacation.