Obama exercises Executive Action to Expedite opening of Mashpee, Ma medical marijuana clinic in time for 2 week ‘dream’ vacation!

by on 22/07/14 at 8:36 am

Residents have noticed a drastic increase in gay police officers assigned to the 'Obama Compound' on Marth's Vineyard.

Residents have noticed a drastic increase in gay police officers assigned to the ‘Obama Compound’ on Marth’s Vineyard.

Mashpee, MA – (satireworld.com)

With the first family’s 2 week agonizing ‘vacation’ on Martha’s Vineyard (for residents and tourists) just 3 weeks away, reports are that the President was ‘in a panic’ after permits to open a marijuana clinic just 15 miles across Nantucket Sound were stalled.

Newspapers reported trouble with the permitting process after the lead applicant has been tied to the Ecuador/Chevron blackmail scheme to extort millions from the oil giant and even tying Kerry Kennedy to the scandal in for a 2% ‘finder’s fee’ for lending the Kennedy name and facilitating the scam.

Former US Rep William “Billy” Delahunt, president of Medical Marijuana of Massachusetts was granted 3 permits including Mashpee, Taunton, and Plymouth, but declined a permit in New Bedford stating: we just can’t complete with the already established market and cheap imports coming in on lobster boats!”

A democrat hack was granted the exclusive power to grant the licenses after what Gov. Deval Patrick claimed was ‘another nation wide search to prove our transparency.”

Boston Herald columnist Howie Carr commented saying, ‘just another day of business as usual in the Commonwealth,” which he was quick to point out was an oxymoron. “only the hacks get to share in the COMMON -wealth’ he said at a recent book signing where he was plugging his Whitey Bolger chronicles :Rat Man.

With Obama’s ok, work has resumed 24/7 at the formerly vacant 45,000 square foot super market which will include 45 check out lanes plus 2 express lanes for ‘5 pounds or less’, and in an effort to “Keep Mashpee Green” will not provide plastic bags for the weed but maintain brown paper bags
to provide confidentiality for ‘patients.’

“Plastic baggies are for crack and meth only,” said store manager Alvin “Leaky” O’Brien, a former stage hand for the Grateful Dead. “Hopefully we’ll be expanding our product line next year after more marketing money is spread around to the Elizabeth Warren Super Pacs and Martha Coakley is elected Governor.

Coakley recently stated during a rally “technically it’s not illegal to be stoned and driving without a license, insurance or inspection sticker in Massachusetts if you vote Democrat!”

A spokesman at the Mashpee Marina remained mum on reports that a flotilla of high speed ‘Swift Boats” had been delivered and took command of most of the dock space leaving summer resident boat owners furious.

“All I was told,”said dock master and former RI congressman and non-recovering alcoholic “Patches Kennedy,” was that the White House wanted the boats fueled and ready to go in the event of a ‘medical emergency!”

A SW reporter working undercover as a dock hand said he heard there are couriers standing by to bring ‘prescription drugs’, pizzas, and boxes of chocolate Dunkin’ Donuts to the marina at a ‘moment’s notice. Wonder if the President is a diabetic or afraid of withdrawal symptoms?”

UN ambassador Samantha Powers denied knowledge of the plans, but said The UN and the White House are always ready to assist in a humanitarian crisis to feed the cravings of delusional people coming down to earth and facing reality.”

No confirmation from Chuck Hagel if Lt. John Kerry will be commanding the fleet.

Said Hagel, ” I think the President is waiting to find someone he can trust to steer the boat and not get lost in a self induced fog or shoot himself in the foot protecting a drug run!’

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