by Walter Bucket on 04/08/14 at 6:21 am
(satireworld.com) Walter Bucket Presents: TRUE FACTS
1. A much younger Jesse Jackson first official quote at age 14: “Before you can relate, you must inflate!”.
2. The reason that female bears have so many cubs in the Spring is because sometimes her and her mate have a hard time falling asleep the previous year for hibernation.
3. People carry a lot of “soup can” bacteria in their intestines. This is where buzzards came up with their famous saying, “The early bird gets the soup can.”
4. Although old-timer, 100-year-old Cowboy cook, Spuds Turner often stated, “Well, I’ll be a bow-legged snapping turtle” over a period of 80 years, the saying never really caught on.
5. Scotland’s #1 export to America? Roosters! Upon arrival, their McNuggets are removed and sent to McDonalds and the rest to Campbells for chicken soup.
6. In a 2010 census report, wives married for 5-10 years say their favorite sex position is “The Dying Cockroach” position.
7. Due to a shortage of cherries in 1992, Cherry Cokes were made with raisins.
8. After 2014, judges and juries will be asked by prosecuting attorneys to “Throw the Nook at him!”
9. Although most humans have 32 teeth, Liberace had 50.
10. In order to survive, butterflies often change their colors to correspond to that of the flag of their host country.