Obama Issues Presidential Order Declaring Nancy Pelosi a MILF

by on 08/08/14 at 3:43 pm

An MLIF? Some believe the president might have been bribed by seduction

An MILF?
Some believe the president might have been bribed by being seduced during a moment of weakness, or by the thought of cherries on top.

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com)

Barack Obama issued his latest presidential order only to have it met by laughter and derision from Republicans, Conservatives, and every straight male in the thinking world. Presidential order 6969FU states that “Due to her diligent service in government, her selfless dedication to the people of her Congressional District, to California, and to the United States of America, and to the sacrifices and gray hairs brought on by her tireless efforts to assist and aid her fellow men, Nancy Pelosi is hereby granted the status of MILF.”

Obama called upon leaders of the House and Senate to express their overwhelming support for his action.

Members of the I Phelta Thigh fraternity at U.C. Berkley, near Pelosi’s district, responded to the Presidential Order, but not in support of the Congresswoman. “Nancy Pelosi can only be a MILF if the president orders it to be so,” said chapter treasurer Ralph Spazzio. “There is not a single guy out there with a working package that thinks of her that way. She’s probably a three bagger at best and would definitely qualify as coyote ugly. I wouldn’t even wrap a flag around her face and do it for Old Glory! I think I’d need two full bottles of Jack Daniels (first) and a bunch of money to even consider it. That woman is a full body condom type of lay. Her tits are probably as saggy as her sad, sad face.”

When told the comments of the fraternity member, Conservative radio spokesman Sean Hannity responded with “Yeah, what he said.”

Congressman Dan Silverheels of Wyoming said that “there are a few women in government that might qualify for MILF status. Hillary Clinton is not one of them. Nancy Pelosi is most assuredly not one of them. Debbie Wasserman Shultz is not one of them. Huma Abedin Weiner might almost be one, if she wasn’t a closet lesbian and wouldn’t go all jihad on your ass. Sonia Sotomayor shouldn’t even enter the discussion, but I am throwing her name out anyway. Frankly, the most MILFy politician I can think of right now is on the other side of the aisle, and that is Governor Palin.”

Nancy Pelosi responded to her new MILF status by saying that she plans to make and distribute some posters of herself. “I can just see me recreating the famous Farrah Fawcett swimsuit poster. I can also see myself redoing the swimming pool scene from Fast Times at Ridgemont High. I never knew that young boys found me to be that attractive, but if President Obama thinks so, it must be true!”

In Hollywood, Rosie O’Donnell cheered the move, saying that she welcomed Nancy to MILFdom (even though Rosie doesn’t qualify… except in her own mind).

Chris Matthews of MSNBC also championed the Presidential Order, saying that “just thinking of having relations with Nancy while listening to tapes of Obama speeches sends tingles up and down my leg.” At the same time, former MSNBC commentator Keith Olbermann could not comment as his head was still busily admiring the inside of his ass.

There was no word on whether or not the President was also going to declare his wife to be a MILF (she isn’t).



2 Responses to “Obama Issues Presidential Order Declaring Nancy Pelosi a MILF”

  1. Bargis

    Aug 8th, 2014

    LOL Good one

  2. E. Williams

    Aug 8th, 2014

    Outstanding! Best one I’ve read in a while, Jman!

Leave a Reply