Retailers in Ferguson Must be Crazy!! Practically Giving Away Free Merchandise!!

by on 15/08/14 at 5:50 am

Ferguson street thugs say 'whitey owes us'....But why thug away at black storefront owners? Reason? Terminal stupidity

Ferguson street thugs say ‘whitey owes us’….But why thug away at black storefront owners? Reason? Terminal stupidity

Ferguson, MO – (satireworld.com)

Retailers in this small town must have gone mad! For the past few days, many retailers around town have been lowering their prices on various merchandise to the point that many are essentially giving their products away.

As part of the “First Annual Michael Brown Sale”, citizens are able to charge into any business and haul off as much merchandise as they can carry. All for free! The only catch – shoppers must break through the doors and windows of the business or set fire to it first.

It’s a small price to pay for most shoppers. Having cut their teeth on Black Friday sales in previous years, many shoppers have no problem with the new conditions, or stampeding into stores like animals for these great bargains.

“Damn, bro! I’ll kick in any door or window to get me some choice rims like these fo free!” said local resident Denzel Oregon, who was just walking out of a car dealership showroom that was burning. “You know how much these rims would cost me on the streets, homeboy?! Shit, these would run me a cool G easy!”

Shaniqua Dawson was thrilled to finally get a free 52” TV after waiting so long for the sale. “You know how long we been waitin’ for one of our homeboys to cross the law so we could get this sale goin’? I could just kiss Michael Brown for kicking off this sale for us!”

After being informed that Mr. Brown was deceased, Shaniqua remarked, “Oh snap! I didn’t know that. I never watch the news.” Then she shouted at some guy she called ‘Shorty’ to go back in and grab her a Blue-Ray DVD player and some coaxial cable.

The sale unofficially started soon after the shooting death of Mr. Brown but really doesn’t kick into full gear until the Rev. Al Sharpton arrives in town.



One Response to “Retailers in Ferguson Must be Crazy!! Practically Giving Away Free Merchandise!!”

  1. Captain america

    Aug 15th, 2014

    ….good ole AL…..”come on down and get you sum!”

    One half pants looter said : Damn…I’m gonna have to steal a bigger truck!:

    Ebay is now awash with real cheap rap cd’s , oversized ball caps, and home boy tattoo kits employing used heroin needles..

    what ever happened to the old maxim: you don’t shit where you eat
    less you go hungry….(on to the next town??)

    good one!

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