by Jalapenoman on 18/08/14 at 5:47 pm
New York City, NY – (satireworld.com)
Some random thoughts on Chelsea Clinton (The former First Daughter whom we could have to put up with as First Daughter again!).
The news media is reporting that Chelsea Clinton, former First Daughter (child of former President Bill Clinton and candidate Hillary Clinton) is pregnant. I wonder when the doctors will do the sonogram and tell us how many puppies are in the litter?
Within the first week, a Jewish newborn is taken for a bris (circumcision) performed by a mohel. At their first church attendance, Mormon babies are given “a name and a blessing” in front of the congregation. When Jesus was eight days old, Joseph and Mary took him to the temple in Jerusalem. Will Chelsea take her newborn baby(babies) to have their dew claws removed?
Do you remember the commercial warnings during Viagra and Cialis commercials about priapism (an erection lasting longer than four hours)? Do doctors treat this non-chemically by simply using a picture of Chelsea Clinton?
A word can have it’s meaning reversed or changed sometimes by adding the prefix “de” to the beginning. To “deconstruct” is to tear down or take apart. If you are not in a sexually excited state and accidentally see a picture of Chelsea Clinton, can this cause a “de-erection?” Is this worse than “cold water shrinkage?” Where does the penis actually go?
A media circus or staged event is sometimes called a “dog and pony show.” In the case of Chelsea’s pregnancy, and the frenzy surrounding her delivery, is the baby a dog or a pony?
When Monica Lewinsky sees pictures of Chelsea Clinton, is she ever secretly happy that Bill never knocked her up so that she didn’t have to deal with ugly children?
Amy Carter has always been happy that Bill Clinton was elected president; she didn’t have to put up with the “ugliest first-child” accusations any more.
After Chelsea Clinton has her first baby, I’d be willing to bet money that no one ever calls her a MILF.