by Walter Bucket on 22/08/14 at 4:13 pm
(satireworld.com) Walter Bucket Presents: TRUE FACTS
1. The song, “Tiptoe Through The Tulips” was actually sung by Leonard Cohen using helium. Tiny Tim merely lip-synced it in person.
2. As teens, Kentuckians Abe Lincoln and Jefferson Davis often double dated.
3. The Yasser Arafat zombie is the ugliest zombie yet.
4. I.H.O.P. serves the only breakfast with cries in the kitchen of “Hey Batter Batter! Hey Batter! Batter! Three Pancakes Up!”
5. Nation with the highest birthrate? Niger! Most there say, “What else is there to do?”
6. Clara Peller, the old lady on the Wendy’s commercials years ago who kept shouting, “Where’s The Beef?”once told a friend, “I said the same thing on our wedding night 51 years ago.”
7. Lisa Mandela was the only trapeze artist to smother to death during a 50-foot fall. She landed head first up a panicked elephants ass!
8. While Eskimos have over 27 words for snow, they have over fifty for Sarah Palin and her binoculars.
9. It wasn’t until 1999 that DC Comics revealed that The Flash had a brother in East Tennessee, The Hauling Ass!
10. According to 2010 Census over one million people say they have chuckled over pill information saying “Take one pill by mouth daily.”
11. The average person flexes the fingers of his hand over 25 million times during a lifetime. Doctors now say that it might be a good idea to begin wearing stiff fingered gloves after you hit 40.
12. In early America, men who broke the law were often placed bent over in stocks overnight. Couples would stay awake at night until they heard the first pig squeals and know justice was being done.