Obama dispatches Holder and Huma to Vermont after Bacon sign at breakfast joint infuriates lone ISIS tourist!
by captain america on 24/08/14 at 11:41 am
Winoowski,VT – (satireworld.com)
Forget Ferguson…Winoowski, VT is the next hot bed of racial and religious intolerance requiring White House intervention after a popular local breakfast restaurant became the target of the lone Muslim in town who said “she was just passing through the state after walking across the border from Canada on her way to Lansing, Michigan to take a job heading up (NPI) ‘Diversity studies on the college campus.
Due to legal reasons the name of the woman can not be released in order to protect her ‘uman rights, not to mention that she refused to identify herself, her country of origin, or produce any form of identification other than a receipt for 3 tons of fertilizer purchased at a local feed store, a gas receipt for 125 gallons of diesel fuel and an alarm clock and cell phone from Wal Mart programmed to sound the call to prayer every hour on the hour.
The officer noted that all the transactions were paid in bundles of cash with crisp hundred dollar notes banded with identifying marks from ‘the Kharzi National Bank’ of Afghanistan.
According to the owners of the restaurant, a favorite local hangout in the town, the woman first appeared at 5 am to greet early breakfast goers wearing black burka from head to toe, carrying an ISIS flag, and a sign declaring “Infidel Pigs fit to slaughter, but not for breakfast any more!!”
Despite being told to ‘move on’ by the lone police officer in the town, who was later fired by the board of selectmen comprised of 6 former residents of NYC , Greenwich, CN and Newton, MA for being “a racist white christian zealot and zionist’ the woman laid out her prayer rug , made green tea and began to gnaw on some cocker spaniel jerky imported from Indonesia, former birthplace of the President.
Pausing at the turn of his last round of golf before heading ‘back to work’ on Sunday, President Barack Obama, now know in the USA as the ‘shanker in chief” deplored efforts to curtail the woman from intimidating Vermonters who only wanted to have their breakfast in peace.
Barry, who claims he never even had a BLT growing up but was addicted to ‘an occasional spam sandwich” after a choom session growing up in Hawaii, said AG Eric Holder and his ‘go to gal on the Brotherhood, Hummer (sic) Weiner would ‘sort things out and get back to me’.
Restaurant workers on Martha’s Vineyard claim that the first family, including Valerie Jarrett, would only eat Halal on vacation, forcing restaurant owners to fly in a designated throat slitter from Syria to prepare meals for the entourage, although they said he was perplexed when he couldn’t get a lobster to ‘bleed out.”
Obama said he would have Harry Reid look into “Pork Barrel Spending’, pet Vietnamese pigs, bacon Butties, ‘the full English’, Fenway Franks (named after Barney), Pulled Pork, (A. Weiner?) and the actions of Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton referred to as ‘hot dogging”
More after Michelle calls for a ban on Kosher Salt and Gordon Ramsay ‘the chef from hell’ for ‘marinating his meat
where it don’t belong!”
Bill Clinton has vowed he won’t give up his ‘pigs in a blanket’ regardless of what Hillary demands saying “someone carrying around a pork butt shouldn’t be pointing fingers!”
An ISIS spokesman issued a FAT-WA saying an alternate approved costume for women with big butts was a pants suit in size 20 big enough to cover her dimpled cheeks up to her eyes.