by E. Williams on 26/08/14 at 6:49 am
St Louis, MO – (satireworld.com)
Mourners packed the Friendly Temple Missionary Baptist Church today to say farewell to Michael Brown, the unarmed man shot to death during an altercation with a white cop several weeks ago.
However, not all was peaceful during the service as scores of black teens looted the church lobby during the loud and boisterous eulogy being delivered by the always mild mannered and reserved Rev. Al Sharpton.
While black luminaries, including Snoop Dogg, P Diddy, Spike Lee, and Jesse Jackson paid their respects inside the church, looters went wild in the lobby stealing fixtures, breaking stained-glass windows, and dragging in tires which they later set on fire.
When asked why they were tearing up the church where the service for Brown was being held, Jermaine Tyrone Jackson told us, “They still ain’t killed that white cop yet. Plus, we were bored.”
Snoop lit up the church with his weed and wowed churchgoers with his wicked smoke rings. Half the congregation got high during the service. P Diddy sold shirts outside that said, “I survived the Ferguson riots and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.”
Spike Lee simply sat and shouted at fellow attendees as they walked up and down the aisles before and after the service. Rev. Sharpton plugged his show on MSNBC during the eulogy and told the crowd, “I’m sure Michael watched MSNBC, and he would want ch’all to Lean Forward too!”
For churchgoers who were unsettled by all the mayhem at the church, Ryan J. Reilly, reporter from the Huffington Post, was on hand to dole out rubber bullet earplugs to stifle the noise.
It seems the service was just about right for the atmosphere of late in nearby Ferguson. As some attendees left the service, fearful of their own safety, they walked out of the church chanting, “Hands Up! Don’t Loot!”