Obama’s Next Major Crisis, Reproduction

by on 03/09/14 at 4:33 pm

Chaz Bono and his wife Janice claim that with the Obama economy so soft, Chaz has to work three jobs and has no time to 'put a roast in the oven.'

NO KIDS YET?

Chaz Bono and his wife Janice claim that with the Obama economy so soft, Chaz has to work three jobs and has no time to ‘put a roast in the oven.’

Washington DC – (satireworld.com)

President Obama returned to the White House in the middle of his golfing vacation on Martha’s Vineyard MA to address a new crisis, in a series of meetings, according to a leak from a WH staffer. The crisis was not about ObamaCare, illegal immigration, ongoing IRS and other scandals or the ISIS threat in Iraq, Syria or to the USA. It was about the USA birthrate declining.

The Center for Disease Control (CDC) data center provided statistics to show that during President Obama’s six years in office the US birthrate continuously decreased among certain segments of the US population, causing an overall decline.

The National Institute of Health (NIH) demonstrated that the decline was due to men seeing women in TV commercials having orgasms over clothes, automobiles, houses and jewelry, as mirroring their own wives’ satisfactions. Ironically, NIH also demonstrated that the decline was due to women seeing men in TV commercials acting stupid over automobiles, pizzas, cell phones and beer, as mirroring their own husbands’ behavior. Additionally, whether same sex marriage has any effect on the decline of the US birthrate is still being investigated by an Obama appointed executive committee!

President Obama has asked the Secretary of Health and Human Services (HHS) to initiate a new program entitled ObamaTots. Free Viagra for men and no birth control for women have been mandated by Executive Orders, as well as Electronic Beget Transfer (EBT) cards. The EBT cards would increase male employment in Chicago IL, Baltimore MD, and Detroit MI etc.

Mr. Obama chose Congresswomen Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) to manage the program, subject to US Senate confirmation. The president’s initial management choice was Congresswomen Sheila Jackson Lee (D-TX). She was disqualified when she asked why a card to purchase French bread (Baguette) was necessary.

The entire ObamaTot program is being run via pencil and paper to avoid any computer roll out problems. Only one glitch in the program has been reported so far in Chicago IL, where Mr. Rufus Woody fell down a flight of stairs while having a four hour erection. His lawyers Sharption and Jackson Esq. are suing President Obama and the federal government for $5 billion!



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