by Walter Bucket on 07/09/14 at 10:01 pm
(satireworld.com) Walter Bucket Presents: TRUE FACTS
1. NASA worried about message from space, “Tonight’s guests on ‘THE LATE SHOW’, Joan Rivers and Robin Williams! Meanwhile, Heerrreeee’s Johnny” “Thank you Ed.” beeeeeep.
2. The first U.S. President who was nearly assassinated was George Washington when a determined pileated woodpecker came after his wooden teeth.
3. In 2011 at a psychiatrist conference, it was confirmed for the first time that many patients coming out of a long coma are crazy. One doctor stated: “I had one 6-month coma patient that told me that he had counted over one million sheep. Then he began bleating really loud and had to be restrained.”
4. The University of Shanghai, China has over 1,200,000 students.
5. Nero never fiddled while Rome burned. Fiddles hadn’t been invented yet. What he was playing was “I Spy With My Little Eye”.
6. The 19th leading cause of death in the world is the Heebie Jeebies. Pollsters expect it to climb even further as the Middle East situation worsens.
7. Canadian comedian Red Green is color blind.
8. The Greek Poet ‘Homer’ wrote both his famous poems during the early “Simpson Dynasty”.
9. A Huskys coat is so thick it can survive temperatures as low as that of a well-diggers ass!
10. As of July 1, 2014, over 39,000 people own the Brooklyn Bridge. Most of them recent Chinese Millionaires.
11. On an early episode, Mr. Rogers of Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood, hit his head on a closet doorknob so hard that he did the last five minutes of the show tap dancing with his head through the sweater’s arm hole.
12. The last member of The Daughters of the American Revolution died in 1992 at the age of 278.