Drinking Prune Juice is Now Mandatory Each Morning in the US Congress

by on 09/09/14 at 6:37 am

Speaker John Bohner admits to drinking up to 3 quarts every morning, but is nowhere near the 3 gallons consumed by Harry Reid.

Speaker John Bohner admits to drinking up to 3 quarts every morning, but is nowhere near the 3 gallons consumed by Harry Reid.

Washington DC – (satireworld.com)

Hidden in the fine print of the Affordable Care Act (ACA), ObamaCare, is a mandatory requirement that all members of Congress over 60 years of age must drink a 12 ounce glass of prune juice before each morning session. That’s what happens when you “pass a bill and have to read it to find out what’s in it!”

The majority of the American people believe that the Obama administration and Congress (Democrats and Republicans) are “full of it” and don’t give a rat’s patootie about them, except every two, four or six years!

There are 70 and 80 years of age politicians sitting in the same congressional seats for 25 or more years elected by people long retired. The US Senate has 59% of its members over 60 years of age and the US House of Representatives has 41% of its members over 60 years of age. (Many US industries have a mandatory retirement age of 65, but not the US Congress.)

President Obama and his White House inner circle staff members, VP Biden, cabinet secretaries and the White House Press Secretary are exempted from the prune juice requirement, even though they need it the most!

Research has been conducted into the consuming of morning stimulants by the same personnel at the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) that rolled out the ObamaCare exchanges’ computer system.

A six month study consisted of four groups of 50 people (male and female) who consumed various products in the morning. Group 1 drank an 8 ounce cup of caffeinated coffee, Group 2 drank 12 ounces of prune juice, Group 3 took an ExLax, and Group 4 ate some habanero chili peppers. The best “desired results” were achieved by Group 4, followed by Group 3, Group 2 and Group 1. However Group 4 exhibited side effects of ulcers and Group 3 was always away from their desks. Prune juice seemed the reasonable choice, optionally followed by some caffeinated coffee.

Congressional members will participate in a pilot trial run beginning in September 2014 when they return from summer vacation starting with the Pledge of Allegiance, prayer and 12 ounces of prune Juice, to be designated the PPP Program.



3 Responses to “Drinking Prune Juice is Now Mandatory Each Morning in the US Congress”

  1. Bargis

    Sep 9th, 2014

    Good one PoM!

  2. E. Williams

    Sep 9th, 2014

    Wait until they uncover the part in Obamacare that requires daily colonics for all elected officials too!

  3. Philbert of Macadamia

    Dec 3rd, 2016

    New, old Democratic leadership in the US House of Representatives:

    Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) Minority Leader, Age 76

    Congressman Steny Hoyer (D-MD) Second Banana, Age 77

    James Clyburn (D-SC) Third Banana, Age 76

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