by E. Williams on 23/09/14 at 5:35 am
Washington D.C. – (satireworld.com)
In back-to-back incidents this week, two idiots tried to gain entrance to the White House before being detained by Secret Service agents. One perpetrator was released soon after the misunderstanding. The breach of security has illuminated vulnerabilities in the security systems surrounding the White House and its grounds.
On Wednesday, one Barack Hussein Obama of Kenya, Hawaii, or Indonesia, no permanent identification has been located for the suspect as of press time, attempted to enter the White House from the south lawn and even made it through a set of open french doors into the building before being apprehended by security personnel.
A woman who resides at the residence at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. reluctantly claimed the man actually belonged to her family and the suspect was released into her custody, pending authorization of a very suspicious Connecticut social security number. Asked why the suspect was lurking around outside the building, the suspect replied, “I don’t know what I’m doing half the time. Just be lucky I wasn’t streaking.”
The other suspect, whose drivers license identifies him as ‘Crazy Uncle Joe Biden’ has been booked into a local jail on trespassing charges after rambling incoherently about a number of political topics. The man claimed he was authorized to be at the White House but, so far, every person questioned about his identity at the residence has denied ever having seen the man before.