(satireworld.com) Walter Bucket Presents: TRUE FACTS……..according to Nopes! #55

by on 30/09/14 at 2:06 pm

A recent spate of toilet paper thefts has put the White House security staff at Defcon 3

A recent spate of toilet paper thefts has put the White House security staff at Defcon 3

(satireworld.com) Walter Bucket Presents: TRUE FACTS

1. The actor who played in G.K. Chesterton’s “The Man Who Knew Too Much” later played ‘The Professor’ on “Gilligan’s Island”.

2. Some Amish sects build towers near their home in order to communicate with other brethren by signaling with flags.

3. In 1906, ‘The Gift of the Magi’ was published. Many people bought a copy to give to their friends and family for Christmas and when they opened their own present, found their friends had bought them the same gift.

4. Hamburgers do not get their name from the city of Hamburg, Germany but from early watchers of the old “Perry Mason Show”, whose opponent was Hamilton Burger.

5. In a 2009 high school test, half of the students thought Julius Caesar was the owner of dozens of casinos around the U.S.

6. Pope Sickle IV: “A child who leaves his roller skates at the top of the stairs and a huge potted cactus plant at the bottom, will be a disappointment to his parents.” (1976 Conference).

7. The Pullman Car was invented by John Car.

8. In extreme Muslim Countries, if a woman wants to dance, she must first do the Mullah. (Rule of Mullahs, #45,878, strictly enforced).

9. Original Purdue Chicken Motto: “Don’t count your chickens before they are hatched, on the block.’

10. Some birds fish from the back of floating hippos. Usually they tip the hippo 15% of their catch.

11. A sneeze does not make your heart stop. However, a sudden sneeze behind an already frightened person in the dark often stops THEIR heart and cleans their bowels.

12. More giraffes die from power lines than any other cause.

13. Ten to fifteen minutes of laughter can burn up 60 calories. Most doctors recommend reading SatireWorld, especially you over there sitting on the three chairs in the first row.

14. Everyone who bought a copy of ‘Poor Richard’s Almanac’ received a chance to win a Franklin Stove!

15. The Northern Lights were named by Professor Stanislaus Marcelles, who hated hearing people butcher the name ‘Aurora Borealis’. (Example: “A Royal Bonus Phallus”).

-Walter Bucket

5 Responses to “(satireworld.com) Walter Bucket Presents: TRUE FACTS……..according to Nopes! #55”

  1. Captain america

    Oct 1st, 2014

    ….Walter….I’m getting concerned! You’ve been here a few months now and you STILL HAVE AN ERECTION!!

    Bargis!….do we have a HOT LINE for this?????

    • Bargis

      Oct 1st, 2014

      Yes, anyone that has an erection for several months needs to call Frenchy over at the Free Pussy Saloon

    • Walter Bucket

      Oct 1st, 2014

      It’s that doggone photo of Hillary up thar starin’ me in tha eyeballs ever time I get on here.

      Usually catchin a pole cat takes my mind off thangs like that but this time it only caused my eyes to burn.

      Have to call those people in who come in after a fire or flood and clean the place of stank.

      Wish more old friends would get on here. Good writers!

  2. Captain america

    Oct 2nd, 2014

    …agreed…especially if they were physically and mentally ABEL…
    Doc Nicholas still up to his armpits in Arse=holes with all them afghans wit hemorrhoids flooding the Canadian border..

    if we had a few more you and Evil could take a long overdue
    vacation and play some golf on Martha’s Vineyard, now that the riff-raff have left…..
    and Buckwheat needs to come out of retirement….

  3. E. Williams

    Oct 3rd, 2014

    What was that? I couldn’t hear ya. Massa Bargis has me and Walter slaving away, crankin’ out stories fast as we can!

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