by Steely Beast on 11/10/14 at 6:00 am
The White House – (satireworld.com)
Despite the CDC’s call for people in Ebola-stricken nations to “avoid public transportation,” Barack Obama, who knows everything about everything, said: “You cannot get it through casual contact like sitting on a bus. In fact, if you like your Ebola, you can keep your Ebola.”
In fact, Obama said:
“First, Ebola is not spread through the air like the flu. You cannot get it through casual contact like sitting next to someone one on a bus. You cannot get it from another person until they start showing symptoms of the disease, like fever.”
Of course this is 100% wrong and if you just happen to touch the same seat fabric, or railing, or handhold an infected person has touched with their bare hands on a bus or cab, or public doorhandle, or a restaurant menu, or touching paper currency recently infected, you run a very high risk of contagion unless you practice vigorous hand cleansing procedures. The CDC has not ruled out an airborne method of the illness being spread through airborne dispersal from sneezing and coughing, but with the staggering numbers of infected, the likelihood of a more effective way of transmitting the disease by the Ebola’s constant viral mutation is a very strong possibility.
Obama also said that “the most common way you can get Ebola is by touching the body fluids of someone who is sick or has died from it, like their sweat, saliva or blood, or through a contaminated item like a needle.” Of course, Obama is an idiot who’s own ego precludes common sense and of course he feels we are too stupid to realize that contaminated sweat residue by itself can be on many public transportation surfaces that a unsuspecting person can easily and unknowingly touch hours after an infected person used the same seat, or hand hold.
The CDC recommends that those with Ebola symptoms “not travel anywhere except to the doctor’s office or hospital,” and that ” if you get symptoms of Ebola, it is important to stay away from other people and call your doctor right away.” The CDC also strongly suggests washing your hands for at least 20 seconds with soap, and use a antibiotic alcohol-based gel on your hands often when in public.
We at satireworld recommendation to the Main Bonehead in the White House to take his own medical advice and take a bus ride on the Monrovia Transit System and then play a few rounds of golf at the public municipal golf course, and of course, shake a few hands while he’s at it. That is, if he can find a loyal media crew willing to shadow him and trust his judgement.
In other news….The Administration’s hand-picked Surgeon General has submitted Dr. Obama’s name as a possible 2015 recipient of the Nobel Prize for Medicine.