Winner Announced In Chelsea Clinton Dry Humping Challenge

by on 16/10/14 at 3:39 pm

A thoroughly satisfied Chelsea brings a couple of beers to the winner and thanks him for the "best sex since she played Al Sharpton's bongos back in 2009."

A thoroughly satisfied Chelsea brings a couple of beers to the worn-out winner and thanks him again for the “best sex since she played Al Sharpton’s jungle bongos back in 2009.”

Winner Angus Sledge celebrates and thanks the Clinton family and later apologized about the dirty underpants thing that happened.

Winner Angus Sledge celebrates and thanks the Clinton family and later apologized about the dirty underpants thing.

Chicago, IL – (satireworld.com)

The results are in and a winner has been announced in the First Annual ‘Chelsea Clinton Dry Humping Challenge!’

Tweny-four year old Angus Sledge from Chicago is the first grand prize winner for his applauded efforts during a successful 4 hour and thirty-five minute dry humping session with the daughter of the Democratic party elite…Bill and Hillary Clinton.

The Clintons suggested the contest late last August as a means to raise needed cash for Hillary’s Presidential campaign which is reeling from sordid disclosures about lost email, Benghazi, and how Hillary has lied to Americans for years.

‘We’re so proud of Chelsea for her volunteering to do this, ” said Bill Clinton during a impromptu press conference outside room 2378 where Chelsea was humped successfully by the 24 year old municipal sewer worker.

“What’s even more amazing was she still could hold onto the baby and give it a quick lunch while Angus, though humping like blue blazes, promised to keep his eyes closed,” added a proud Clinton as stunned reporters looked nervously for the next question.

Sledge was allowed some time off by the Sewer Division to compete, but hurried back to a water main break in time to repair a cracked main line. Slege says he’ll enjoy wearing the winner’s crown and really neat gold belt, and promises to take his Mom, Mildred for a ride in his spanking brand new purple Subaru.

Next summer, the Clinton’s plan to expand the challenge to the local homosexual community by holding a ‘Dry Hump Barney Frank Challenge’ out in the Hamptons. ‘Who knows where this will lead,” says a beaming Hillary and then quickly added, ” maybe I’ll throw my hat into the ring since its been awhile since Bill climbed aboard.”



One Response to “Winner Announced In Chelsea Clinton Dry Humping Challenge”

  1. captain america

    Oct 16th, 2014

    ….all it took was 2 vials of Viagra and a quart of Grey Goose
    Vodka with the used thong at the bottom…
    …what a guy…and from San Fancisco!

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