by Walter Bucket on 17/10/14 at 11:08 pm
(satireworld.com) Walter Bucket Presents: TRUE FACTS
1. Police and victims now agree that the “Send Them Walking on Tiptoes Ass Kick” has replaced “The Knockout” as the #1 fad.
2. As well as wine and whisky, there have always been professional haggis tasters also.
3. You don’t hear of many children named “Chingachgook” these days.
4. Honey and Twinkies are the only foods that do not spoil.
5. Before it became the state of South Dakota, the territory was called, North Dakota Down Under.
6. The average “Bloody Mary” drinks only have 3-4 drops of blood in them.
7. During the 1960s, over 20,000 small towns in the U.S had a deputy that everyone nicknamed “Barney Fife”.
8. If you place a chameleon on a box of loose crayons, it will explode.
9. On April 7th, 1922, the Teapot Dome Scandal began as Interior Secretary of State Albert Fall had a whole teapot of hot tea poured on his bald dome.
10. Snakes smell mostly with their tongue. So the next time your Scoutmaster exclaims, “I smell snake tongue”, better watch your step.
11. Some bats live up to 30 years. So there is no such thing as an “Old Bat”.
12. Whales evolved from mammals that once lived on land. But as they grew fatter, they found that they felt much lighter in water. Plus krill is rumored to be an aphrodisiac.
13. According to those close to her, Agatha Christie admitted that the height of her enjoyment of writing mysteries came when she “was finally able to kill off that idiot, Hercule Poirot!”
14. Placing a small humidifier in your bedroom at night will increase your chances of having a wet dream!
15. Toward the end of his life, former president Theodore Roosevelt would scream like a woman every time he saw a spider or centipede.