Bush Administration Hurricane Machine Controls Found in White House Basement

by on 18/10/14 at 7:09 am

At first, Michelle was confused because cleaned cotton didn't come out....

At first, Michelle was confused because cleaned cotton didn’t come out….

Washington DC- (satireworld.com)

First Lady Michelle Obama had the White House basement cleaned to remove all the Bovine Excrement generated for the president by White House Press Secretaries Robert Gibbs, Jay Carney and Josh Earnest. She needed a cool dry place to store all her turnips for this year’s school lunch program.

In a back corner of the basement a control panel was found for the rumored President George W Bush Hurricane Machine. First Lady Michelle called President Obama and Vice President Biden (who were meeting in the Oval Office discussing how to cover up the CDC Ebola virus screw-up) to come on down and have a look.

President Obama surmised he could use the Hurricane Machine as the strategy for US foreign policy. He could mitigate Venezuela antagonism, ISIS terrorism in the Middle East, Russian aggression against Ukraine and Chinese suppression of protests in Hong Cong without putting American boots on the ground.

There was no instruction manual or indication where the actual Hurricane Machines were physically located in the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans, but the control panel could be powered up. Over the course of several months:

  • The president and the vice president set the selector switch to Atlantic-Hurricane and the compass direction as Southwest, missing Venezuela, but hitting Bermuda and Cuba.
  • The president and the vice president set the selector switch to Pacific-Typhoon and the compass direction as Northeast, missing China, but hitting Hawaii.
  • The president and the vice president set the selector switch to different combinations of the two Oceans and various compass directions, but couldn’t generate adverse weather conditions in Russia or the Middle East.

The Hurricane Machine was turned off and left with Michelle’s turnips, as “It’s not nice to fool with Mother Nature.”  Oh, the US still doesn’t have a foreign policy strategy!



3 Responses to “Bush Administration Hurricane Machine Controls Found in White House Basement”

  1. Philbert of Macadamia

    Sep 14th, 2018

    Does wacko Al Gore and the Washington Post believe Republican President Donald trump found the Hurricane Machine and got it to work??

  2. Bargis

    Sep 14th, 2018

    Oh yeah………..can’t give Trump a days rest.

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