Monica Lewinski: ‘Democrats Left A Bad Taste In My Mouth’

by on 21/10/14 at 6:18 am

Monica Lewinski (41 years old and still single) who's now a 'certified media victim' says it's everyone else's fault her reputation errrrrr.....sucks!

Monica Lewinski (41 years old and still single) who’s now a ‘certified media victim’ says it’s everyone else’s fault her reputation errrrrr…..sucks!

Philadelphia, PA – (satireworld.com)

Monica Lewinsky spoke at Forbes’ 30 Under 30 summit on Monday, opening up about her experience with cyber-bullying, her past relationship with President Bill Clinton, and how she’s more aligned with the Libertarian Party now since leaving the Democratic Party in 1999.

Lewinsky, who joined Twitter ahead of her speech on Monday, described how it felt being “the first person to have their reputation completely destroyed worldwide via the Internet by her own stupid sexual actions.”

“Staring at the computer screen, I spent the day shouting: ‘Oh my God that was a cigar?’ and ‘I can’t believe he put that in’ or ‘That’s so outrageous that he lit that soggy thing afterward,’” Lewinsky said. “And those were the only thoughts that interrupted a relentless mantra in my head: ‘No wonder I need a nicotine patch now to have an orgasm.’

Lewinski, who’s 41 years old and still single, blames the media for her problems and denies personal responsibility for placing strange sexual organs in her mouth while hidden behind a desk in the most powerful office in the world.

Monica, who described herself as chunky-sexy, opened up about her difficulties living as ‘Monica Lewinski.’

“Can you imagine the embarrasment I’ve gone through? Can you imagine having to eat common things that everyone else eats, like hot dogs, popicles, and bananas, while holding a newspaper in front of your face?” Monica shed a tear and dabbed at her face several times.

“Imagine never ever wearing a blue dress again while on a date because the guy gets all weirded-out!”

Lewinski denies she sued various media over the reference to oral sex as ‘a Lewinski, and also denied she tried to copyright ‘blow job’ as a soley proprietory reference.

Lewinski says she’s glad she left the Democratic party and moved on after the whole Oval Office affair left a bad taste in her mouth.

Lewinski, who is employed as a publicist for the Indian Head Cigar Company, will be speaking at the Hyatt Hotel until the end of the month. For tickets call 1-888-Blow-Job



3 Responses to “Monica Lewinski: ‘Democrats Left A Bad Taste In My Mouth’”

  1. Bobbi

    Dec 3rd, 2014

    I’m sure there was a ” bad taste in her mouth ” after all the Jizz was being pumped down her throat. LOL.

    She wanted her “presidential kneepads”. she got ’em.

  2. Jvg

    Oct 2nd, 2015

    Give it a break people! She is not the only woman in this planet that has gave a man a blow job….

Leave a Reply