‘Last Tree’ In Local Dog Park Sparks Confrontation During Town Council Meeting

by on 21/10/14 at 6:45 am

Dog Park patrons line up to pee on the last tree in the park which is scheduled to be cut down.

Dog Park patrons line up to pee on the last tree in the park which is scheduled to be cut down.

Austin, TX – (SatireWorld.com)

Dog lovers packed council chambers Tuesday night after a notice went out to residents concerning the popular local Dog Park. In the mailed notice, the Council advised dog owners that the last remaining oak tree in the Dog Park would be cut down due to a parasite that was weakening the 75 year old oak. Many voiced their frustration and displeasure of having the last tree felled without a viable alternative for their dog to use when nature called while their pets were at the park facility.

City Comissioner Ben Dover gave some alternatives that Fido could use once the tree is removed. “We have a few used fire hydrants that we will place around the park so the dogs can lift without worry.” His answer wasn’t one that residents expected.

A short, but fiery speech by dog rights activist, Eleanor Hudgins rallied the angry crowd, who in turn, demanded the Council do something more in line with what a dog would need in order to relieve themselves.

Finally, the Council approved the use of the county’s old 50 foot artificial Christmas tree which would be stripped of lights and decorations, then permanentely planted in the same spot as the oak.

Local atheists immediately protested, saying the Christian symbol didn’t belong on public property and threatened a civil lawsuit if the city proceeded to use a Christmas tree at a public park.

Finally, Mayor Edwin Schultz offered a compromise in saying, “The tree would be re-named a ‘Dogwood Tree’ in hopes of pleasing all parties. For a short time, the various factions agreed until a spokesman for the animal rights group PETA objected saying the ‘Dogwood’ falsely sterotyped all canines and had a connection to ‘an animal being urinated upon.’

The meeting finally came to an end when Public Works Director Mavis Jones offered to place a large non-denominational plain wooden pole in place of the Christmas Tree-Dogwood which the dogs could use at their pleasure.

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