by Philbert of Macadamia on 23/10/14 at 5:26 am
Washington DC- (satireworld.com)
President Barack Obama desires to move fore-ward with his domestic agenda and leave his progressive legacy on the United States. The Golfer in Chief feels his administration’s federal agency scandals and incompetency; US Constitution violations; overspending (budget deficits/national debt); over taxing, over regulation; and foreign policy debacles around the world need to be put behind him.
The president indicated that in the last six years I have neglected job creation programs and intend to rectify that situation in my remaining two years. I’m going to ask Congress to double the federal fuel tax ($40 billion to $80 billion per year in revenue) till the end of the 21st century in order to improve the Eisenhower Interstate Highway System, increase the availability of farm products, make the USA green energy independent and improve ObamaCare. I want to move fore-ward with the following four federal job creation and transportation improvement programs:
- The Obama Interstate Golf Course System program would construct 18-hole golf courses at various sites along the entire 50,000 miles of the Eisenhower Interstate Highway System. Federal “green” will be provided more liberally to blue rather than red states to implement environmentally friendly greens and sand traps. A focus will also be on troubled youth residing in large US inner cities to wean them from gun violence and basketball.
- Each golf course would have an attached “Michelle Vegetable Garden” to provide healthy red, green and yellow vegetables for all the public school students in the vicinity. A “pot shop” for marijuana fresh from Michelle’s garden will be available for adults. (In states permitting such sales.)
- Each golf course will have a small wind farm associated with it to generate green energy to support a total of 150,000 wind generators (wind mills) for powering the USA. Florida, Hawaii and California will be able to employ Solar cell arrays.
- Each golf course will have an ObamaCare Service Center providing health care terminals with personnel to assist “greenie” enrollees with the intricacies of my signature health care law. Additionally, a gambling casino will be available to allow enrollee’s a chance to pay the ObamaCare premiums. (In states permitting such facilities).
First Lady Michelle and I want you to write your Congresspersons and Senators, even if they are Republicans elected on November 4, 2014, and ask for an increase in Federal fuel taxes in 2015 and beyond. Thus, when I leave office you and I can begin to play golf for a modest fee (no longer a rich man’s sport) anywhere in the USA!