by Walter Bucket on 05/11/14 at 6:12 pm
(satireworld.com) Walter Bucket Presents: TRUE FACTS
1. A Shape-Shifter is a creature able to change shape in a hurry. For instance, from a hippopotamus to a really wrinkled squirrel!
2. The state of Alaska has about 60 earthquakes a day. Most scientists agree that it is so cold there, it makes the earth shudder.
3. According to Edward Snowden, 5-6 years ago a U.S. moon rover sent back photos of a skeleton in a lawn chair with deflated balloons attached.
4. The world’s worst auto wreck? Most likely, it was the 1994 clown car head on collision with a second clown car in Florida that sent 64 clowns to an Orlando Hospital.
5. Flamingoes never stood on just one leg before seeing all the fake ones in peoples yards. Now it’s turned into a game for the youth and helping the elderly keep their sense of balance.
6. While a group of cats is called a clowder, a group of clams is called a chowder.
7. Before being yanked from TV in 1956, many adults thought the funniest episode of “Gumby” was when his enemy stretched him so thin, he was used as a condom. To this day, no one knows who sneaked that onto the show but several people were fired.
8. During the late 1950s, several theaters were fined for subliminal food messages made into the film plus placing an air conditioner unit to blow in the smells of cooked hamburgers and popcorn.
9. Tonto Marx didn’t care for doing comedy like his brothers so he went into westerns instead.
10. A lion’s roar can be heard from five miles away. Victims are completely deaf by the time it eats them.
11. Among the different cloud types are cirrus, stratus, cumulus, ducky and horsey.
12. California Governor Jerry Brown, who recently proposed a bill against anyone using the terms ‘husband’ or ‘wife’, has now introduced a bill that everyone in California must call each other “Pat”.
13. Although Americans have been dumping junk in Canada and Mexico for the past 20 years, no one can prove it because it is all marked “Made In China”.
14. Venus has the densest atmosphere of any planet in the solar system, but a body that would curl your toes and send you away drooling.
15. Many Old Timers in Arkansas say that if you see a black bear hopping on one foot in the moonlight during a full moon, all your children will be born naked.