by Walter Bucket on 17/11/14 at 12:35 pm
(satireworld.com) Walter Bucket Presents: TRUE FACTS
1. In California, Governor Jerry Brown has given permission for a man with three testicles to have a second wife, if he can support them. (As of July, 2014).
2. Those butterflies you feel in your stomach the day you meet that certain someone in your life is caused by all those caterpillars you swallowed as a kid.
3. Showing your palm in Greece is considered offensive. So don’t ask anyone to “Give me five!” or they will slap your jaws five times!
4. The Pony Express was an early attempt to deliver mail out west in the U.S. but didn’t last long, as it took over 80 riders and 10,000 horses!
5. There are no tornadoes in the Arctic Circle . Once the twister hits the icy air, it falls to the ground and flies apart in disgusted thunder and lightning fizzles and sizzles and splutters.
6. Scientists now say that the dinosaurs all died when a comet the size of the Earth came close enough to sweep them all away.
7. The number of noses stolen from children by grandfathers has dropped from 95% in 1940 to a mere 5% today.
8. The Crapasaurus became extinct first among the big lizards as they left a clear trail for the Tyrannosaurus Rex to follow.
9. It was Eleanor Roosevelt who coined the phrase, “He who smelt it, dealt it”.
10. The actor Mickey Rooney was very superstitious and when he realized that he had just married his thirteenth wife, he immediately divorced her right after the honeymoon.
11. Port-O-Potties were first called “Crapper Johns” and “Blue Moons” but were changed to Port-O-Potties when the song came out, “Blue Moon of Kentucky Keep on Shining”.
12. Dentists now recommend that you keep your toothbrush at least six feet away from your commode. Or, if you live anywhere near anyone called “Bubba”, at least two blocks away.
13. The saying “Kiss My Ass” comes from back when mules were used to haul coal from deep in the coal mines. It meant the same thing as “Break A Leg” does in the Theater.
14. In early silly superstitious New England, any woman with red hair and a black cat got on her broom and high-tailed it out of there as fast as they could.
15. Although women live longer than men in almost every country on Earth, men make up for it by living to be quite a bit longer than the women.