(satireworld.com) Walter Bucket Presents: TRUE FACTS……..according to Nopes! #90

by on 26/11/14 at 6:17 am

DID YOU KNOW??? Avery Kornblatz's idea for funny sayings on toilet roll tubes cost him his job at Acme Paper Products when one catchy  phrase he coined  appeared at a rest room stall in the Vatican

DID YOU KNOW???
New York marketing genius Avery Kornblatz’s idea for funny sayings on toilet roll tubes cost him his job at Acme Paper Products when one catchy phrase he coined appeared at a rest room stall in the Vatican

(satireworld.com) Walter Bucket Presents: TRUE FACTS

1. In 1740 France, a cow was found guilty of sorcery and publicly hanged. Her lover was later stoned.

2. It takes four grocery employees to keep up with all the screw-ups in the self-checkout lines.

3. Ketchup was viewed in the early 1800s as a medicine, but today it’s being used with french fries, fried fish and onion rings to help kill us.

4. The acid in a humans stomach could melt an anvil, given enough time, and donors.

5. The Elephant Tarantula is still the most feared of all creatures. Though its bite is not poisonous, most victims they have attacked wish that they were.

6. Bluefish are actually silver while in the water, but once they are hooked and are headed for the dinner table, they turn blue.

7. Husbands who have happy wives never allow themselves to be caught short of tranquilizers, liquor or Viagra.

8. It was the late chess champion, Bobby Fischer, who coined the phrase, “A man’s home is his rook.”

9. The first 3D featured movie was cut short by the audience dodging under their seats, slapping the person beside them and running out the theater door and into the street before they thought about taking the glasses off.

10. The U.S. Government is thinking about giving away over one million electric cars with special ignitions in order to get them off to a good start.

11. According to sign language, neither monkeys nor gorillas say they believe in evolution. In fact, they get quite hostile if you mention it.

12. Most people who die in their sleep die between three and four A.M. In fact, there are those who set their clocks to ring at 5A.M. and wake up, yell “Oh Yeah!” and go back to sleep.

13. A lot more people in 2014 are eating more fiber and have quit using so many laxatives. Hint: Never ask your pharmacist what you should do with all the leftover suppositories.

14. The body of Kasey Kasem has now shown up in the Bahamas. That ties him with “Bernie” if anyone is keeping score.

15. President Obama is now blaming subliminal messages his political enemies have spliced into his golf videos. Like Yogi Berra, he hasn’t said all those things he said a few years ago.

-Walter Bucket



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