High School Common Core Mathematical Problems

by on 04/12/14 at 5:58 am

History teacher Lilian Greg, a 12th grade teacher at Morgan Freeman High School, says she helps her class concentrate by removing her blouse during all final exams and just jogs in place since she notices that they seem to enjoy that the most.

History teacher Lilian Greggs, a 12th grade instructor at Morgan Freeman High School, says she helps her class concentrate by removing her blouse during all final exams and just jogs in place. She said she notices that they seem to enjoy that the most and it relaxes them during the Common Core testing.

Washington DC: (satireworld.com)

Secretary of the Department of Education Arne Duncan has announced that in order to graduate from a US high school a five question 8 hour exam will be giving to each graduating senior. The test will show how well the student can read, write and comprehend mathematics based on Common Core concepts. The test questions will change with every new graduating class.

The 2015 exam is as follows.

Question 1: President Obama is leaving on a trip aboard Air Force One to Europe and Asia preceded by fundraising stops in five US cities (New York NY, San Francisco CA, Nome AK, Miami FL and Dallas TX). Determine the most economical route in both distance (fuel consumption) and time.

HINT: All necessary data, e.g. cities visited, mileage, fuel burn rate, number of airplanes, etc is contained in a handout. The president stays home and/or travels by commercial airlines are not acceptable answers.

Question 2: President Obama is going to ask Congress for funding to completely repair the infrastructure of all US cities (bridges, tunnels, roads, piers). Determine the total amount of money in the president’s request.

HINT: A complete list of US bridges, tunnels, roads, piers, etc and their estimated repair service costs are contained in a handout. Don’t forget Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) requirements costs. Any correct answer should greatly exceed $1 trillion.

Question 3: President Obama is implementing the Affordable Care Act (ACA) also called ObamaCare. Determine that the enrollment of 12 million additional people into ObamaCare, keeping the same quality of health care, and reducing the cost of health care are impossible without increasing government subsidies and hence taxes. Compute the additional taxes necessary to make ObamaCare work.

HINT: All pertinent private health insurance company enrollment data, MEDICARE and MEDICADE data provided by the US Health and Human Services (HHS) is contained in a handout.

Question 4: President Obama has decreed by an unconstitutional Executive Order that 5 to 8 million illegal immigrants will be allowed to stay and work in the US and not face deportation for three years, even though 18 million Americans are currently unemployed. Determine the economic cost in US reduced wages, lost jobs and the impact on the US health and welfare systems of these illegal immigrants.

HINT: The Bureau of Labor unemployment numbers by demographics, wages, Social Security, health costs and other statistics are contained in a handout.

Question 5: President Obama and First Lady Michelle are walking on the Willis Tower, (Chicago IL) Skydeck when a strong gust of wind blows Michelle overboard. The Skydeck is 1,353 feet above the street below. President Obama immediately jumps after Michelle to save her. Consider the president as Superman, to determine his necessary velocity, acceleration and height above the street where he catches Michelle.

HINT: Splat is not an acceptable answer, as the Chicago Fire Department and the Secret Service have erected a bevy of large air mattresses all over the street below the Skydeck, just in case. All pertinent data and a basic Physics text are contained in a handout.

Secretary Duncan also indicated that the next Common Core High School graduation exam will contain a question about the US impacts of President Obama’s obsession with Global Warming/Climate Change. However, White House Press Secretary Josh Earnest and Democratic mayors of large US city are already complaining about the 2015 exam.



4 Responses to “High School Common Core Mathematical Problems”

  1. Bargis

    Dec 4th, 2014

    C’mon….You guys loved that photo! Admit it!

  2. E. Williams

    Dec 4th, 2014

    I admit it! I stopped by for the pic, but stayed for Philbert’s wisdom.

    • Philbert of Macadamia

      Dec 4th, 2014

      Thank you EW.

      The depiction of human female mammary (boobs) by Editor Bargis is an artistic encouragement to achieve better satirical writing about the current world situation, from all the Satire World writers.

      But, can Editor Bargis top this picture to further stimulate the writers to achieve bigger and better things without a XXX rating?

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