(satireworld.com) Walter Bucket Presents: TRUE FACTS……..according to Nopes! #109

by on 26/12/14 at 8:29 am

Charles Manson plans on a post-prison career as a stand-up comic

Charles Manson plans on a post-prison career as a stand-up comic

(satireworld.com) Walter Bucket Presents: TRUE FACTS

(SATIRE WORLD UPDATE: “Hands-Up Protesters”in Ferguson, Missouri mob city hall with hands up, bearing boughs of holly!”

1. Charles Manson has confessed to killing John F. Kennedy, President Abraham Lincoln and Cain’s brother, Abel.

2. Prince William and his wife, Kate, have joined “The Nights on the Round Table” at Buckingham Palace.

3. Obamacare will not cover those hit in the face by a parking lot, as several members of Nopes can testify.

4. Unknown group, “Anonymous” takes credit for rewiring electric chairs at prisons and placing them inside State Governor’s favorite chair at the table.

5. TRUE: Most citizens of northern United States and Canada hoping Global Warming not just another lie from the liberals. A cry of “BRING IT ON!” comes from under big pile of snow in Buffalo.

6. Researchers say that genetically altered lamb and beef tastes just like chicken.

7. TRUE: Canadian woman, Hannah Duke has so much electricity in her that no one would hire her for a job or marry her. Then they discovered she had the cure for E.D. Now married to 80-year old billionaire in castle in England.

8. New type of invisible ink invented in 2012 now being used to rob banks. (“How could you, a teller of this bank for 13 years, cash a $500 white piece of paper?) heard all over the northeast!

9. FALSE: The “Mormon Latte” is sort of like a “Shirley Temple”. It only contains decaffeinated coffee.

10. Parents in Kansas want Sex Education teacher removed from school after his showing boys in class how to jiggle their penis after taking a pee.

11. Worst state to hide from the police or from the mob? West Virginia. Governor explains: Natural born West Virginians all look alike.”

12. TRUE: Professional Sperm Donor says he has plenty of money to pay for carpal tunnel operation.

13. TRUE: Voted the worst movie sequel of all time? “We Will Always Have Parrots”.

14. TRUE: In 2013, Bob Beasley of California survived ten days in the ocean after small boat capsized. Apparently a plane spotted him at night glowing on a floating pile of Japanese nuclear waste.

15. Trojan Condoms commercial showing dancing condom singing “A dependable sheath for Peter McBeef!” banned in America. Still allowed in France, plus actually showing dancing McBeef inside his sheath!

-Walter Bucket

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