(satireworld.com) Walter Bucket Presents: TRUE FACTS……..according to Nopes! #119

by on 17/01/15 at 7:20 am

Miley admits she's hooked on showing her tits off to just about anyone.

Miley admits she’s hooked on showing her tits off to just about anyone, but declined to give Walter Bucket a peek fearing a swift and deadly coronary might happen…To herself!

(satireworld.com) Walter Bucket Presents: TRUE FACTS

1. T/F “Online Mail” still unsure if Miley Cyrus went topless in second half of her performance in Brazil. Audience members leaving commented, “It was either her or one of the male dancers. It’s hard to tell the difference.”

2. TRUE: July 11th, 2014, it has happened once again. For the third time in as many years, a hypnotist practicing his routine in front of a mirror suddenly begins clucking, crowing and squawking and runs out the door and get hits by a truck while trying to cross the road.

3. The movie, “Groundhog Day!” was roughly based on Einstein’s theory of “Curvature of Spacetime”.

4. After the tenth apple had knotted a lump on the head of Sir Isaac Newton, he had a second revelation and moved his chair under the Maple tree!

5. TRUE: Besides being huge and all those sharp teeth, the Tyrannosaurus Rex had a huge barbed penis and was much feared by the females of his own kind.

6. True: After most recent plant inspection, Kentucky Fried Chicken may not be able to use the word “chicken” on several items as they had other bird meats such as turkey, crow, and blackbird in them. Restaurants may have to change their name to Kentucky Fried Corn Peckers.

7. Soupy Sales wasn’t Soupy Sales real name. Nopes still checking with White Fang and Black Tooth, but no permission to dig up their bodies has been given.

8. TRUE: The Green Bay Packers response to Dallas Cowboy’s Dez Bryant catch/non-catch being reversed and losing the game? “Hard Cheese!”

9. TRUE: In 1962, a kid who went missing for three days was found hiding in an outside john near the family’s campsite, crying. Apparently when he went to use the john, there were two brown recluse spiders under the lid and the poor kids testicles were the size of coconuts!

10. TRUE: Americans getting a lot stronger. In 1960, a bag boy at a grocery could barely carry $40 worth of groceries to a shoppers car. Now he can carry over $120 worth in one arm.

11. Most boomers remember when Russia’s Nikita Khrushchev banged his shoe on the U.N. table using threats against America. It has changed. Russian leader Vladimir Putin recently (November 30th) banged Secretary of State’s John Kerry’s head on the table while threatening to destroy America.

12. Authorities say massive sightings of UFOs over New Mexico in 2010 were only a big flock of migrating Pterodactyls!

13. Next teen rage seems to be the sporting of the Kim Jong-un haircut.

14. TRUE: Some food items at Aldis in 2013 did have horsemeat in it. However, the company continues to say “Nay!” to further investigations.

15. After the recent terrorist attacks in France, tourists are not flocking to go to Paris. “They have chickened out”, stated the Head of the Tourist Bureau.

-Walter Bucket.

One Response to “(satireworld.com) Walter Bucket Presents: TRUE FACTS……..according to Nopes! #119”

  1. Philbert of Macadamia

    Jan 17th, 2015

    There are two schools of thought about incompetent President Obama’s legacy.

    The first wants American voters to forget that this president ever existed.

    The second wants American voters to never forget that this president
    existed and don’t ever repeat the error again!

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