Bureau of Land Managment Confirms Obama Plan to Name Martha’s Vineyard as a National Monument (to Himself!)

by on 24/01/15 at 1:21 pm

The previous Obama National Monument idea was scrapped during Harry Reid's time as Senate Leader.

The previous Obama National Monument idea was scrapped during Harry Reid’s time as Senate Leader but in recent weeks has been revived as an economical way to have him ‘just go away’ at the end of 2016.

Cape Cod, MA – (satireworld.com)

After listing vast miles of open water off Key West and the Dry Tortugus as off limits to fisherman, and thousands of recreational acres in the mid and north west as no go areas for RVers, hikers, hunters and bird watchers in order to clear a path for the steady stream of illegal aliens, potential Muslim terrorists and drug mules, Obama has now moved to secure his own post presidential vacation resort off the coast of Massachusetts.

Through the use of the Presidential edict declaring ‘national monuments’ Obama insures that Congress will not get to vote or enact such measures or reflect the common will of the people, or as he refers to the voters as ‘his folks’.

Along with the edict, which takes place immediately, comes the power to command huge financial allocations of federal funds to protect and enhance the ‘monuments’ and shape them to his own pleasure.

Insiders said forces are in place in insure the Obama’s will have the island almost all to themselves and their friends, bundlers, and allies as the July vacation looms.

Both golf courses are set to be ‘nationalized’ and there will be no compensation awarded to the private members who have invested thousands to their preservation.

Valerie Jarrett has confirmed that plans are in the works to bring the courses up to PGA standards to prepare for the 2016 Barack Obama invitational cosponsored by Qatar and Saudi Arabia offering millions in prize money and carried live by the Al Jazerra network to help their no existent ratings.

Thousands of vacationers have been notified that their summer rentals have been cancelled and their deposits non-refundable due to “an act of your GOD.”

All high speed ferry routes have been rescheduled to leave Hyannis for a two day round trip to Rhode Island with shore excursion include a pub crawl re enacting Chris Dodd’s and Teddy Kennedy’s late night excursions and ‘drink to you sink’ festivities in honor of Patrick “Patches” Kennedy’s epic black outs, car crashes and crimes
against women.

Providence politicians are hastening the renovations to the Raymond Patriarca Crime Museum with semi retired ‘made men’, most now in their 70’s, being recruited as tour guides for “Raymond’s Famous Hits” parade.

Plans for the Obama Library and repository for Obama’s Presidential executive orders are still uncertain as Hawaii,Chicago and Nairobi are still fighting for the rights to scam American taxpayers.

There is said to be other changes to remove any signs of previous tourism interest as John Belushi’s grave is to be dug up and the body removed to Hyannis and reburied in one of Mary Kennedy’s various resting places as her former husband keeps changing his mind on where to keep her in order to deter interest about her ‘alleged’ suicide.

Several survival experts from Sydney, Australia are said to be hard at work designing shark nets off the beaches, and a government Swat Team is said to be moving in to eradicate the seal population to lessen the chance a marauding White Shark attempts to take a bite out of any of the Snorkeling Obama’s raising the ire of Al Sharpton who continues on his crusade against ‘anything white’ and his “hands up don’t bite me Bro” campaign.

Excavators with the Corp of Engineers are already on site preparing to elongate the small regional airport to handle huge jets expected along with the Obama’s and their supporters including Epstein’s “Lolita Express’ expected to ferry in Bill Clinton, Prince Andrew, the few remaining Kennedy’s and a horde of Hollywood perverts including Michael Moore,the Kardashian Klan and their ilk, although Bruce Jenner said he’ll be spending the summer in Provincetown appearing in drag at the Crown & Anchor theater in his comedic role as Musty Chiffon a diva delighting the likes of Barney Frank and former employees of Fanny May (sic).

Word is all vehicles except golf carts will be banned from the streets, and the dress code will be “clothing optional’ on the pristine beaches and Presidential basketball and volley ball courts.

Barry has announced that ‘body man’ Reggie Love is in charge of checking the inflation levels of everyone’s balls to deter cheating and insure that every ‘friend of Barry’ gets a firm grip on the situation as a ‘Obama Athletic Supporter.’

3 Responses to “Bureau of Land Managment Confirms Obama Plan to Name Martha’s Vineyard as a National Monument (to Himself!)”

  1. Walter Bucket

    Jan 24th, 2015

    Any word about the state of Alabama being renamed al-Obama?

    Keep us up to date on this guy, Cap. Some of us just don’t trust him.

  2. Philbert of Macadamia

    Jan 25th, 2015

    He always wants to play with his little white balls, proclaims Sharpton!

  3. Philbert of Macadamia

    Jan 25th, 2015

    Fiction becomes truth!

    King Obama “the incompetent” to propose Protecting 1.4 Million Acres of Arctic Refuge by having Congress declare the land a Wilderness Area. (Snowballs chance in hell.)

    Meanwhile Obama’s left wing ideological Interior Department is going to do this without Congress’s approval!

    Needless to say Alaska US Senators very upset.

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