by Philbert of Macadamia on 06/02/15 at 7:06 am
Pyongyang NK – (satireworld.com)
North Korea ruled out resuming dialog with the “gangster-like” United States, and vowed to respond to any US aggression with nuclear strikes and cyber warfare, and that “US imperialists will face final doom!”
Talks began with North Korea about locating President Obama’s Presidential Library near the NK capital of Pyongyang. These discussions were initiated when The University of Chicago and the State of Hawaii could only come up with 20 acres of land for the library. North Korea via back channel communications made President Obama an “offer he could not refuse.” North Korea proposed the following five points to US representatives, which were all acceptable to the Obama administration.
- A 200 acre parcel of land, President Obama’s library buildings, hotels, a nine-hole golf course and restaurants located near Pyongyang, connected to Pyongyang International Airport by high speed rail.
- Statues of Supreme Leaders of North Korea Kim sung ll (grandfather), Kim Jong il (father), Kim Jong Un (son); and Chinese Chairman Mao Tse Tung will be located all over the grounds. President Obama gets one smirking “Selfie” positioned in front of his library.
- The USA provides 2,500 tons of Wheat for 10 years.
- North Korea keeps its nuclear weapons development and long range missile programs.
- North Korea gets the food concessions for hot dogs, hamburgers, watermelons, fried chicken, Soul Food, and corn dogs, but none of First Lady Michelle’s school Lunch food is to be available.
During a Kimchee and coffee break, while the executive memo papers were being prepared to avoid that pesky US Constitutional Senate two thirds approval process another point was raised.
The North Korean negotiator said he forgot to mention that the Russian Federation Presidential Library of Vladimir Putin would be collocated with the Barack Obama Presidential Library. A statue of President Putin, bare chested, on a white horse would be positioned in front of the building.
Needless to say the rest is history!