(satireworld.com) Walter Bucket Presents: TRUE FACTS……..according to Nopes! #132

by on 10/02/15 at 6:45 am

DID YOU KNOW??? Al Gore recently spoke at a global warming seminar in Boston after the third major snow storm hit.

Al Gore recently spoke at a global warming seminar in Boston after the third major snow storm hit.

(satireworld.com) Walter Bucket Presents: TRUE FACTS

1. A lawsuit has been launched by the descendants of James Doolittle, famous U.S. pilot who led raid on Tokyo, Japan in WW2. It is against 2 TV networks showing the sitcom ‘Family Matters’ and in particular the character, Urkel. They say that their grandfather James Doolittle, who led the Tokyo attack, first used the saying “Did I do That?”.

2. Al Gore claims that shrinking sizes of snowmen is just another sign of Global Warming!

3. In 1990, the City of Boston, with its baked beans, reached a settlement with the city of Chicago over the use of calling itself, “The Windy City”.

4. TRUE: It is impossible for anyone to hack up flem and still sound sexy at the same time.

5. December 15th, 2014: Thousands of New Yorkers rush to view a pile of Wino crap that looked exactly like our President. CIA rushed in agents to blow it up but the pics had already been taken and there was little left after people helping themselves to souvenirs!

6. T/F: December, 2014, Michelle Obama endorses lunch for schoolchildren to consist of three multivitamins, 2 multiminerals and a large serving of organic apple juice!

7. TRUE: Obese student trapped on school bus after consuming pocketed candy bars in Mississippi. Rescuers had to cut through the top of the bus through the roof. It took twelve hours and 10-year-old kid already showing signs of junk food withdrawal.

8. Poor old Hillary Clinton to travel the United States selling apples to raise money for her campaign. Apples are only $1,000 each.

9. Both the CIA and FBI are offering money for crime scene pics by people with cameras on cell phone, etc. “This will give us eyewitnesses and save us a lot of work”, say police officers.

10. A study at Harvard University reveals that shorter men do actually live longer lives, but that longer guys are a lot more popular.

11. Only one out of a hundred fortune cookies have the winning numbers to the national lottery which had 10,000 winners last week, who received an average of $1,000 each, $345 after taxes.

12. TRUE: Spy satellites from China say that the Japanese have Woolie Mammoths already, from DNA. Plus they spotted a Tyrannosaurus Rex and fear they have many more hidden. “Between robot warriors with lasers and giant lizards, China has asked the U.N to act upon their information.

13. President Obama has recommended that all “Wives” in Federal Prisons be released if their crime was less than that of murder. “These poor little bow-legged guys have suffered enough.”

14. Police in small towns all over the country are pepper-spraying their territory. “If cats, dogs and winos can spray their territory, so can we”, says police Captain.

15. A study in 2002 showed that fortune cookies that predicted the future had a better average than Nostradamus. However, Nostradamus had predicted that they would.

-Walter Bucket.

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