by E. Williams on 14/02/15 at 6:59 am
WASHINGTON D.C. – (satireworld.com)
Forget candy and flowers, they’ve been done to death for Valentine’s Day. This year, show your love by forcing your special someone to sign up for something they probably don’t want – Obamacare! Who wouldn’t want to be surprised with that?! After all, nothing says love more than a bloated, unsuccessful government program.
House Minority (Thank God!) Leader, Nancy Pelosi, today reminded reporters that open enrollment ends this weekend and it happens to coincide with Valentine’s Day. “What better way is there to show you care than by helping someone special “get covered?” I can think of a million better ways.
Skip the candy, flowers, movie, and dinner out and surprise your girl by staying in, sitting down in front of a romantic fire, pouring a glass of wine, and whipping out your…laptop. Log in to the clusterf^ck that is Healthcare.gov and see if you get laid this Valentine’s Day. Be sure to do this in an area where there aren’t any sharp objects around or you might find yourself having to use your own Obamacare coverage at the hospital. Not the best way to spend Valentine’s night.
And if your special lady surprises you with a little something she brought home from Victoria’s Secret, gently ask her to save it for another night as this evening will be spent wandering down the Healthcare.gov rabbit hole and there likely will be little time for hanky panky after the two of you give up hours later out of frustration.
If you find yourself not getting any love from the one you want, remember: You took romance advice from Nancy Pelosi. NEVER a good idea. Even if you do get lucky enough to see some action, your relations may not be that passionate since your partner is likely picturing Pajama Boy, a big turn off, instead of you. Unfortunately, no matter how much lingerie you dress it up in, there’s just nothing sexy about Obamacare. Or Nancy Pelosi.