(satireworld.com) Walter Bucket Presents True Facts……..according to Nopes! #137

by on 18/02/15 at 6:07 am

Speaker of the House John Boehner says that he and his new son-in-law (photo) really don't have much to talk about.

Speaker of the House John Boehner says that he and his new son-in-law (photo) really don’t have much to talk about.

(satireworld.com) Walter Bucket Presents True Facts

1. TRUE: Back when Wendy’s Hamburger Restaurants began, you had a choice of French Fries, Loaded Baked Potato, Potato au Gratin or Vichyssoise with your bigger burger.

2. Over 50% of mortuaries never return melted gold rings or teeth after a cremation.

3. TRUE: Al Gore’s Secret Service code name was “Chicken Little”. President Bill Clinton’s code name was “Little Chicks!”

4. Leslie Nielsen was working on a spoof movie called “Air Pain” when he passed.

5. TRUE: There’s a 50/50% chance that Miley Cyrus will show up naked somewhere today.

6. 2014: Surgeon General announced that smoking marijuana will cause your teeth to turn psychedelic.

7. The Richard Petty Sons of the South say they are ready for a race war. “How big can the engine be?”

8. The three-foot-tall Sand Monitor Lizard uses its long muscular tail to stand on it’s hind legs and take a look around, as if to say, “How long is this evolution thing going to take anyway?”

9. TRUE in Topeka, Kansas: Small for his size, high school nerd who was bullied every single day at school always rushes home after school and kicks his little sister in the ass!

10. Before the invention of self-adhesive stamps, every American gained five pounds a year from licking the back before sticking it on the envelope.

11. TRUE: In 2004, a clown was arrested as a pervert at Children’s Birthday Parties after being caught making poodles from condoms!

12. As of January 2015, Old Fart still down there on the bench telling people, who sit down to wait for bus, about how that German tank ran over his foxhole in 1944.

13. Illegal group of Mexicans take over the Alamo. Visiting Sheriff Joe having a sh*t hemorrhage.

14. Martha Stewart back in fashion with new book which includes “How to Make a Shiv Out of Old Hardened Macaroni”.

15. Angry Mob of FREE CHARLES MANSON supporters confront cops with their heads spinning and yelling, “Helter Skelter, Coming Down Fast!”

-Walter Bucket

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