by E. Williams on 22/02/15 at 6:51 am
WASHINGTON D.C. – (satireworld,com)
On Friday, the State Department, under the masterful tutelage of Secretary of State John Kerry, released a statement asking folks on Twitter to submit ideas on how to combat violent extremism. The administration will compile lists of the best ideas and submit them to the President in about a month. Already, brilliant ideas have begun rolling in.
Conservatives on Twitter were divided about which part of this idea was worse – that the clueless jackasses in the administration are turning to Twitter for ideas, or that the administration is counting on good ideas coming from left-leaning Tweeters who still haven’t figured out what clueless jackasses the people in the administration are.
Some of the suggestions that have popped up so far include dotting the Middle East with shopping malls to give ISIS members a distraction, telling ISIS leaders that the people of Antarctica have been dissing the Quran to trick them into relocating there instead, to supplying all militants with high-speed internet and cable TV. They will get fat and lazy like the American voter and lose the will to fight.
Mr. Kerry lamented one tweet in particular. “This gentleman from Indiana said he had a foolproof plan to stop violent extremism. But just when he was going to tell the world what his plan was he hit the 140 count and ran out of characters. Sadly, we may never know his solution that could have saved the world.”
Some recommendations are already being discounted. State Department spokesgal, Jen Psaki, said, “Some people are missing the point. They’re sending us tweets about how to defeat terrorism in the Middle East and how to defeat ISIS. What we’re more focused on is the hardcore terrorism that is homegrown here in the United States from right-wing Tea Party types. That’s the real threat our country faces.”