by Walter Bucket on 23/02/15 at 7:53 pm
(satireworld.com) Walter Bucket Presents True Facts
1. New Super-Slick “Snake Oil” running Ky-Jelly out of business!
2. On his wedding night, Harpo Marx kept everyone awake until dawn with his loud honking!
3. Dick Clark worked his way to the top by doing a little “Song and Dance” number.
4. The first telephone call by Alexander Graham Bell got someone who kept talking about “Wanting to go home!” in a strange high voice.
5. Dr Seuss Newfound Manuscripts finally released after several court hearings. Look for: “The Glunk What Stunk”, “The Jocks in their Socks”, “That Kat In The Hat Done Shat!” and “How The Grinch Defeated The French” soon.
6. Border Guards suspicious of new Tex/Mex Palace of Song built on the border. Over 17 karaoke singers have disappeared after singing and stepping behind the curtain.
7. Best new product that cannot be kept on the shelf in the southern United States: “Candy Corn on the Cob!”
8. Surgeons and helpers accused of relaxing during surgery by placing Groucho Masks on patients while they are out.
9. Early humans drew pictures of horses on cave walls. Back then, horses were no bigger than a chupacabra.
10. In Greek Mythology, the Centaurs were half horse and half human. Some had horses heads but human privates. Others had human heads with horses privates. These were the lucky ones.
11. Wife divorcing husband after he kept yelling during sex: , “Ground Hog Day!”, “Call the Undertaker!”, “99 bottles of beer on the wall” and “What? That ball was a mile outside!”
12. “THE FLASH” of DC Comics got his name from all his clothes burning off when he got to a certain speed.
13. Writers of SatireWorld are looking at you right now, so I wouldn’t try anything funny. That’s our job.
14. General Tso killed more chickens than Colonel Sanders and Popeye’s put together.
15. One of Superman’s lesser known powers was the power to fart himself from his chair to the ceiling. Although frowned upon at dinner, the kids all thought it was super.