by Walter Bucket on 27/02/15 at 5:40 am
(satireworld.com) Walter Bucket Presents True Facts
1. West Virginia man who went over Niagara Falls in a wheelbarrow, December 25th, 2014, never resurfaced.
2. Al Gore: Due to global warming, some Red Hot Mamas may spontaneously explode.
3. Man who wrote, “Isn’t it Nifty, …(Fill In Lady’s Name)….. is now over 50!” on Hallmark cards now in police witless protection program.
4. In Hazard, Kentucky, senior class finally rounded up enough deer for their annual “Buck Dancing Prom!”.
5. Some ask if Stephen King is losing it with his last two books, “Sodom’s Lot” and “The Dude Zone”.
6. Both Goose Mountain and Sien’s Trading Post have quit selling Snake Charming Kits.
7. Man who bought $5,000 Time Machine from Nigeria receives nice wrist watch in the mail.
8. The man in Michigan who lost his penis to frostbite hits it lucky as three other stiffs donate theirs. “I may walk funny but I sure am having a ball.”
9. Least attended attraction at Disney World? “The Haunted Manson”.
10. Most large sheep farmers in Australia have trouble keeping up with exactly how many sheep they have. “So far, everyone that I’ve hired to count them fall asleep.”
11. While potato chips are made from potatoes, Freetoes are made from chicken feet. Thus, every part of the chicken can be sold.
12. TRUE: Larry Fine of the Three Stooges was Art Garfunkel’s Uncle.
13. Because of their training at home and at school, no Vice President likes to be called #2.
14. TRUE: That very sudden loud scream on Rod Stewart’s “Bring Over Some of Those Old Motown Records” came from Rod himself after seeing a big spider on his mike.
15. Biggest Protest Crowd yet in New York City, on January 5th, 2015 as Mounted Police accuse them of feeding their horses bean cakes, throwing fits and spraying mare’s piss to excite horses as most of it blew back in their faces with the mace. Over 2,000 hospitalized including one claiming he was raped by a horse.