by Walter Bucket on 28/02/15 at 10:03 am
(satireworld.com) Walter Bucket Presents True Facts
1. The Norwegian artist who painted the famous painting “The Scream”, had originally painted it as a joke. According to diaries of his contemporaries, Georg Baselitz and Louise Bourgeois, Edvard Munch would always point at it and laughingly ask, “Isn’t that a scream? Byerni, Byerni! Byerni! Snort!”
2. The Chinese cook who invented Sweet & Sour Sauce was bi-polar!
3. Most Smart Tanks in war time are taken out by Smart Bombs!
4. Vice President Joe Biden says shrinking U.S. dollar will save the Treasury millions of dollars by making them so much smaller.
5. Hillary Clinton still showing signs that she will run for President in 2016. The latest: Seen secretly going into ARC (ass reduction clinic) dressed as Barney Frank, but she can’t twist it like old Barney.
6. Animals that go to heaven will be warned by St. Pete to stay far away from “The Happy Hunting Ground”.
7. Former Secret Service Guard for President says he has a hidden Spider Hole (Code Hole #19) to run to in an emergency at all his favorite golf courses!
8. Most Easter eggs ever found by a kid? Over 90 eggs by Miss Shirley Knott. Shirley was later disqualified as it was discovered that she had used an illegal egg-sniffing pig to find many of the eggs.
9. Arkansas Think Tank reminds everyone that their advice about wearing “layers” during cold spell meant clothing, not chickens.
10. 2014 Best Children’s Book Award went to “Everybody Poops, Including That Thing Under the Bed & That Other Thing in the Closet.”
11. Towards the end of his life Wilbur Wright actually believed he could fly without the airplane and ran over a cliff flapping away with his arms. “He would have wanted to go that way”, stated Orville.
12. The most underrated blues singers during the 1930s: “T.B. Slime Pickens” and “Old Nasty Donald”.
13. President Obama secretly traded New Orleans to France in 2009 for free vacations in Paris and wife & daughters clothing for life.
14. Early whoopee cushions were sometimes dangerous if an obese person sat down fast, exploding and ruining their privates. At other times, everyone in on the joke would use the whoopee Pzzzzzzzzzzzzzzt to let go real ones and the windows and doors would have to be opened, even in the cold. Thus, they were outlawed in 1962.
15. Jeopardy host Alex Trebek has already purchased his burial plot and monument. It reads: “What Ever Happened to Alex Trebek?”.