(satireworld.com) Walter Bucket Presents True Facts……..according to Nopes! #145

by on 07/03/15 at 7:50 am

" Dad, Why do people say  gardeners have got green thumbs when their thumbs   aren't  green?" "Well son, it's like this ....It's just a  saying, son. It's like, when somebody is caught stealing  something, we say they  have been caught red handed, even though their hands are  actually black  ..." >

” Dad, Why do people say gardeners have got green thumbs when their thumbs
aren’t green?”
“Well son, it’s like this ….It’s just a saying, son. It’s like, when somebody is caught stealing
something, we say they have been caught red handed, even though their hands are
actually black …”
>

(satireworld.com) Walter Bucket Presents True Facts

1. TRUE: The expression “Rule of thumb” comes from the ancient rule in many countries that if the groom’s penis is no bigger than a thumb, the bride can call for an immediate annulment.

2. New ruling as Americans finish dead last in health poll of western countries. If you go overseas or anywhere as a tourist, you must carry a sign around your neck stating, “UNCLEAN!”.

3. TRUE! The first Moon buggy was hacked and the first photographs sent back had to be censored.

4. All-Time favorite name for an uncle? Bob!

5. Most archaeologists now agree that the ancient Egyptian King Tit was a transvestite!

6. Fred Gwynne’s real name was Herman Munster. His family made a fortune from cheesemaking.

7. TRUE: Korean Leader, Kim Jong un has machine-gunned an apple off a prisoner’s head. Although film judged as correct, rumor has it that it was on his 49th attempt.

8. Children’s Channel hacked! Many call-ins over episode of SpongeBob PointyPants!

9. TRUE: The character “Biff” on the movies, “Back To The Future” trilogy is played by the son of “Lumpy” from the old B/W TV series, “Leave It To Beaver”!

10. Before the rock group ‘Jefferson Airplane’ became ‘Jefferson Starship’ and then, ‘Starship’, there was only ‘Jefferson’ who had his voice doubled.

11. FALSE: President William Howard Taft once had a metal button fly off his jacket during an extended dinner at the White House and killed the Ambassador from Poland as it wedged into his forehead.

12. 90 percent of all fortune cookies will predict that you will soon come into a fortune, especially if your nickname is “Cookie”.

13. The most popular wedding gift for the past 25 years? A big jar of Vick’s odorless muscle rub.

14. Mahatma Gandhi had cheeks like a squirrel causing many to believe that he was fudging on all those fasts he was famous for doing.

15. Many non-conformists in ancient times often took an eye for a tooth and a tooth for an eye during their many battles.

-Walter Bucket



4 Responses to “(satireworld.com) Walter Bucket Presents True Facts……..according to Nopes! #145”

  1. Bargis

    Mar 7th, 2015

    ..another string of gems from the King of One Liners!

  2. Captain america

    Mar 7th, 2015

    ….Walty is amazing….pulling these out of his arse while skating on thin ice in frigid Kentucky….I give him a ten for style!

    “Great balls of fire” as also a good choice for his presentation in the rink!

    …and he bested Tanya Harding 2 out of 3 falls in nude wrestling!

  3. Walter Bucket

    Mar 7th, 2015

    Fell on my face twice trying to wade 2-3 feet of snow. Finally hired a crew that was amazing. Cleared the snow from back door to the road. Then cleaned the cars out from under a couple feet of snow with leaf blowers while wearing weird outfits.

    Looked just like Ghostbusters, with snow blowing everywhere.

    So now I know who to call: “Snowbusters!!” That will prevent future “Assbusters!”

  4. Captain america

    Mar 7th, 2015

    ….thank god for amnesty, eh? Doing the jobs
    Unemployed Americans won’t do!

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