by Walter Bucket on 07/03/15 at 7:50 am
(satireworld.com) Walter Bucket Presents True Facts
1. TRUE: The expression “Rule of thumb” comes from the ancient rule in many countries that if the groom’s penis is no bigger than a thumb, the bride can call for an immediate annulment.
2. New ruling as Americans finish dead last in health poll of western countries. If you go overseas or anywhere as a tourist, you must carry a sign around your neck stating, “UNCLEAN!”.
3. TRUE! The first Moon buggy was hacked and the first photographs sent back had to be censored.
4. All-Time favorite name for an uncle? Bob!
5. Most archaeologists now agree that the ancient Egyptian King Tit was a transvestite!
6. Fred Gwynne’s real name was Herman Munster. His family made a fortune from cheesemaking.
7. TRUE: Korean Leader, Kim Jong un has machine-gunned an apple off a prisoner’s head. Although film judged as correct, rumor has it that it was on his 49th attempt.
8. Children’s Channel hacked! Many call-ins over episode of SpongeBob PointyPants!
9. TRUE: The character “Biff” on the movies, “Back To The Future” trilogy is played by the son of “Lumpy” from the old B/W TV series, “Leave It To Beaver”!
10. Before the rock group ‘Jefferson Airplane’ became ‘Jefferson Starship’ and then, ‘Starship’, there was only ‘Jefferson’ who had his voice doubled.
11. FALSE: President William Howard Taft once had a metal button fly off his jacket during an extended dinner at the White House and killed the Ambassador from Poland as it wedged into his forehead.
12. 90 percent of all fortune cookies will predict that you will soon come into a fortune, especially if your nickname is “Cookie”.
13. The most popular wedding gift for the past 25 years? A big jar of Vick’s odorless muscle rub.
14. Mahatma Gandhi had cheeks like a squirrel causing many to believe that he was fudging on all those fasts he was famous for doing.
15. Many non-conformists in ancient times often took an eye for a tooth and a tooth for an eye during their many battles.