by Walter Bucket on 19/03/15 at 7:12 am
(satireworld.com) Walter Bucket Presents True Facts
1. Al Gore to defend his title on July 4th against Richard Simmons in putting the greatest number of 100 audience members to sleep in this week’s “Most Boring Man Alive Smack-Down #3!!”
2. TRUE: Due to global warming, by 2055 a Red Hot Mama will actually cremate her lover and run out the flaming bedroom door!
3. FALSE: The movie “Home Alone” and the play “Homo Blown” still in court over plagiarism after 15 year lawsuit.
4. 2012 Study showed that while running is very good for you, standing still is not so good. Your body will soften, sex drive dive and you have a one in five chance of being arrested for loitering.
5. FALSE: Other satire site’s message that Satire World is closing down in 2013 is wrong.
6. TRUE: DO NOT click on the “Miley Cyrus posed beside a naked horse”. It is a Trojan Horse. Already, over 100,000 clicks. We figure that these were nerds who only saw the word “Naked”.
7. Dec. 2014: Maker of the AK-47 rifle, Mikhail Kalashnikov dead at 92, after tripping on a loose shell when he was about to show off his next upgrade and accidentally shooting himself 391 times.
8. World’s most used nickname? “Ducks”.
9. In the early 1700s, the ability to read was a Babe Magnet plus you could pick up a copy of any book and read it aloud whatever you wanted it to say and influence the ignorant. “Give the reader all your gold and you will never ever get old. See, says it right here.”
10. The cashew nut was named after the sneeze from the first people to eat them, due to being allergic to nuts.
11. Cats can smell you coming from a mile away. For that matter, so can everyone and everything else.
12. All the original guys who worked in a closed garage attempting to invent the “Air Hockey” Game, died of a bacteria infection.
13. While a mime on the street is hiding inside his invisible cube, he casts no shadow.
14. There is only one lucky male Cheetah left alive in Africa.
15. TRUE: Thomas Edison, inventor of the light bulb, is worshiped by spiders all over the world.